I decided to take a few minutes and hit the blog when I found myself wondering where to start. Well.... at the beginning, right?
That got me thinking about the beginning of my Spark-journey. Seems like ages ago now. But it was just a year and a half ago I guess.
Yeah, I've been having a tough time as of late. So I suppose it is only appropriate that I start looking at all those things that got me going in the first place. Wow... that's a whole can of worms. So many feelings, so many events. But it boils down to feeling bad.
It's been a roller coaster over the last 19 months. I've had some really wonderful moments (weeks and months even... it would be an injustice to call them merely moments). I'd lost about 50 lbs, totally changed the way I view food, and gained a LOVE for the adrenaline rush that a good workout would give me!
Lately though, things have been different. I've found myself feeling bad.
So it's no surprise that I've been binge eating again. I'd stopped exercising nearly 6 months ago. My weight is up by nearly 20 lbs. My clothes don't fit. I feel uncomfortable in my skin again.
Yeah, I've got lots going on. But that's not an excuse, is it?
I have said it before. And I'll say it again. I am in the driver's seat. Living is not a spectators' sport. Time to DO.
So what am I going to DO? Well, I'm going to make time to exercise and take time to track my calories. I also picked up this little self-help workbook/journal thing from a thrift store the other day. For 60 cents... I figured that I can keep it next to my bed and write a little in it each night. There are daily exercises to do in it. Not physical exercises... rather health related tasks. Not that I think it is the answer to everything. But at least doing them will keep me focused and give me a daily reminder that I need to make good choices for my health.
Today's exercise was to start tracking every bite of food. Not so much calorie counting... but just being aware of everything that goes into my mouth, even water. This isn't too hard considering we are in Ramadan and I've been fasting all day. So I just have to record my pre-dawn meal and then whatever I eat after sunset.
Ok, a little rundown of things (so I can keep track as I go back and read/reflect over my posts):
Weight is at 237
BP was up at the doc : 143/83
been feeling winded, bloated and swollen
little to no exercise going on
I did a 6 mile hike a week ago that nearly KILLED me!
Alright, that's pretty much it. I guess this is a post just giving myself a status update.
I know it sounds so cliche... but I'm calling this my fresh start.