I'm doing better today, less chest pain and "itchiness". Still not 100% and once again I was better before I did my exercise. I knew there was no way I was going to try the 3 mile workout again, so in my brilliance I decide to try the 2 mile. I've done other 2 mile workouts several times and did fine. This one kicked my behind! I didn't realize just how different this set was from my other ones. I guess I need to take a step back. Maybe forget the videos until Monday. My husband already asked if I wanted to go to the wildlife sanctuary tomorrow so I'll do that and maybe even allow myself to take a rest day on Sunday.

I started freaking out about the possible celiac yesterday. I've been GF for two months now, except I think I accidentally had some 2 weeks ago when I was in Michigan. Anyway, it's been 2 months and it has made a huge difference. To go from not being able to eat a few apple slices without pain to being able to eat at least two whole apples with no problem. To go from daily stomachaches from everything, including bananas, to being able to eat broccoli and peanuts with no problem. The evidence seems to be there considering the only change I made is cutting out gluten.

Now I have to face the truth. Our insurance starts August 1st so there goes that excuse for not seeing the doctor. I want to know for sure if I have celiac. That just makes sense to me. There are certain things I would like to eat that I have cut out so I'd like to know if I really can't eat them.

The main issue now is that I'm afraid. I'm afraid of getting a diagnosis because then it's real, but there's more. I'm afraid the doctor won't believe me. It's happened before with other doctors - it took two years to get an asthma diagnosis after my first asthma attack. This is a different doctor and they seem very thorough at this office, but there is still that fear. Then beyond that I'm afraid of getting the scope to check the cilia. The most invasive procedure I've had is getting a tooth pulled. I have my tonsils and appendix. I've had ultrasounds and x-rays. I even had to wear a heart monitor for 48 hours. Blood draws I can handle, I even watch.

Then there's the fear that it's something worse. I know many people who say that celiac disease would be the worst thing to happen to them, but it's not. It could be so much worse. That's another thing, celiac is really not too bad. Sure, it increases your chances of some cancers and can cause problems if you don't follow the strict diet, but it isn't a condition that requires a lot of follow-up. Being an autoimmune disease it increases your chances of having another, but so what? I already have psoriasis so I already have an increased risk.

Oh well, when my husband promised to get his issue fixed I promised to get checked. I have no excuses, except fear, and fear is no excuse.