Friday, July 27, 2012
Since I have been on this new path in my life I have already learned so much about my self. In the begining I thought I know I wont do this long, I always give up on everything, just tell my doctor I just can't the pain is too much, excuse after excsue after excuse because i knew me right?
What I did not realize is I was the one underestimating me. I was my biggest crictic and my own worst enemie. I was the only one that was holding me back from get off my b utt and doing something about the one thing I have never liked about my self, I had the power to change it all this time and I am the one that has stopped me from doing anything to help me self.
Every goal I have completed, every step I have taking I have done it no one else has done it for me I have done it for my self. All the small steps I have done from the start of 5 minute walk in my driveway a few times a day, looking for a few simple workouts on youtube, finding this site, tracking my food and workouts and for the first time taking about my weight the one big thing in my life I have tryed to pretend wasnt there. I never voiced my weight, never told anyone not even my hubby how much it was. Even though he has always knows I mean he gos to all my doc appts with me and he does the laundry and sees my size but I just acted like that big white elephant in the room wasnt there, when after all this time the big white elephant in the room was ME! I have spent so much of my life feeling sorry for my self. But not willing to do anything about it. I am the reason I am the weight I am now, no one else has done it.
Now I see things different, I know all my life I have made excuses for everything in my life I dont like. I have stopped making excuses for myself. I am not holding my self back any more.
Hey you ya you,,,,,,meet me this is who I am I can do what ever I set my mind too, I have always been able too but you held me back with all the excuses you have told me over the years. If you hate parts about you then you are the only one that can change it. You tell people the same thing, What is it you told your kids when other kids picked on them/ you said " you cant control what other people do but you can control what you do" Why dont you listen to your self?? Get off your butt and do something about it,
Look at everything you have done that last few months, all the goals you have past and the new goals you set every day. This is the new me!! No more excuses because you know you can do it, I am no longer I own worst enemy I am now my own cheering section. I am proud of my self I have not given up, I have not let the pain stop me, even when I wake i nthe middle of the night crying because my back hurts os bad I cant sit up to rub my knee that is screaming at me. I have found out I am not who I thought I was I am not going to be that brakeable person that cant do anything for her self any more. It is not fair I have put so much on my kids and my hubby to do when I can do it to. I am now a new me, a stronger me, a healthyer me, and a happyer me. Thar is who I am and it has been nice to meet me again after all this time. I am back fro mthat hole I had put my self in. I have a long road ahead of me but look at al lthe steps I have made already. I can do this because I am a lot stronger than I thought I was.