Friday, July 27, 2012
I did well yesterday, though, as I build up more days on this streak, I have to remind myself why I'm doing it.
Especially when, like yesterday, I'm just so sweaty and hot from the day and bored with the same daily routine, and down from discouraging conversations.
At those moments, all I want to do is hit the Default button on the part of my brain that rules my eating habits and shovel in whatever I want.
Don't get me wrong, please! I do *not* want to go back to eating salty, fatty garbage on a regular basis or, really, at all. I like eating healthfully.
It's just that, last night, I would have liked a slab of brie cheese, not-too-salty crackers, and some white wine. An old movie.
But that wasn't happening last night.
I had goldfish and MarioKart. I didn't go crazy on the goldfish as I would have in the past. I stuck to my plan.
And just white-knuckled myself through the evening.
I'm feeling judged and discouraged lately by people close to me, and it hurts. And when I hurt, what I want is food to soothe and comfort me.
But I'm trying to change that dynamic. I'm here, I'm writing about it, I'm keeping to my streak. So that's good!
So again...WHY AM I DOING THIS??
1) Because I need to take responsibility for my weight gain. I gain weight fast. It doesn't take a lot of food for my body to gain. I know that. I've known that for a long time. I need to own up to that. If I were diabetic, I would need to own up to that and adjust my diet accordingly to live with that condition. I am finally owning up to how fast my body gains weight, instead of pretending it doesn't happen. I am adjusting my diet to live with it. So this 100-Day streak is as much about watching *what* I'm eating as how much I'm eating of it. Portion size control.
2) Because I have been hating how I feel about myself. How far my gut extends out when I sit. The number of chins I've collected, and so on. I don't like how this makes me feel. I feel distended and unhealthy. I'm done with that.
It's good to remind myself of these reasons. I feel better.
So here's my menu for today:
raw oats, about 1/3 cup
1 diced nectarine
1 container Chobani nonfat Greek yogurt with honey, all mixed together
apple and 12 almonds
salad greens with grilled chicken breast, feta and some croutons, 2T each of oil and vinegar
chicken with broccoli with 1/2 cup brown rice
Treat: cocoa powder with peanut butter and coconut oil, mixed together; rolled into small balls, frozen. Yum! My own treat to enjoy while we watch the Olympics opening ceremony! Go USA!!
Have a meaningful day!!