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Obsessed With Stress?

Thursday, July 26, 2012

My son's dad (who really doesn't know me well at all--my son is 20 and I haven't been with his dad since actually before my son was born) sent an e-mail to my son, and in it, he stated that I am addicted to drama, and have to have drama in my life in order to be happy. Bear in mind the man is a selfish jerk, and has been terribly hurtful (emotionally) to my son. But, then a couple days later, I was stressed out over a particular issue, and my husband of eight years said that I was obsessed with stress. He said that I always have to be stressed about something.

The thing I was stressed over was my glasses. I bought my glasses from a local vendor, and they didn't put them together right. They said that they couldn't, because my prescription is too strong to fit properly in that particular frame. The glasses didn't look that bad, but they didn't look great, either. The office lady said I could choose another pair, but I was sort of embarrassed, because she thought the glasses looked fine, so I thought maybe I was being picky.

Well, after having the glasses three weeks, the lenses started developing stress cracks inside (gosh, that sounds like me!! haha), because of the way the arms of the frames rested on the actual edges of the lenses, when the arms are "closed up." I took the glasses back in to the shop, but not before completely stressing out about taking them in. I didn't want to be a complainer, or make the office staff feel like I'm impossible (which I often am, haha). I don't like to cause trouble at stores or restaurants. I'd rather eat the wrong order than ask the waitperson to take the dish back to the kitchen. BUT, it's a bit different when I paid so much for glasses, and after three weeks they were already breaking. :(

So, after a night of completely awful, restless sleep, a horrible stomach-ache, and that creepy-crawly feeling I get on my skin when I'm stressed (yes, weird), I went into the glasses place this morning. The girl was a sweet as pie, and they let me choose a new frame, and they are going to remake lenses for the new frames. WHAT a relief. emoticon

I'm giving myself the "awesome" emoticon, because I didn't completely have a nervous break-down, but I was close. I told my husband what my son's dad said in that email. My husband said, "That guy doesn't even know you." But then I reminded him that he had told me himself that I was obsessed with stress. He said that's different than creating drama. He said I am just a bit obsessive about certain issues that are usually pretty minor and fixable. He said it's ok to get a bit worried about something, but not ok to obsess over it. He's right, but I'm not quite sure how to UN-obsess about certain things, once I've gotten started.

Take today, for example. I'm trying not to get stressed over getting my daughter to ballet on time. For some reason, I feel panicked that I'm going to forget about ballet. Have I EVER forgotten about ballet? No, I have not. Is ballet at the same time and place each week? YES, it is.

Is there a gas station on the way so that I can get a Dr. Pepper? The very same Dr. Pepper I wrote that yesterday I was no longer going to drink? Why, yes. Yes, there is. And by damn, I will be drinking one. Actually it will be my second one today, truth be known. Honestly, I just love the stuff. emoticon

I did hoop for twenty minutes last night, though, and will be hooping for a half hour tonight. I will also be mowing the lawn tomorrow. So, those will be some good introductory cardio exercises to get me motivated. I actually broke a sweat hooping last night. I was pretty excited, because it seems that the only time I break a sweat any more is when I'm mowing out in the 99 degree heat, or when I'm stressed out.

Yesterday my darling man and my daughter and I went to a local thrift shop. I had the urge to shop. For $55, we got my daughter a pair of roller blades (she's worn them two days now), a Toy Story 2 movie, a pair of adorable leather clogs, and for moi, we got three pairs of jeans (including one pair of Lucky brand jeans--I love the fit, but can't afford new ones--or at least I can't justify them!), three shirts, and a pair of leather clogs. Luckily my clogs were only $3, because my lovely golden retriever promptly ate the heel off of one of them. She loves me so much that she has to eat my stuff. I really, truly do love having dogs, even if they are a tad bit destructive! emoticon

I have been watching quite a few episodes of What Not to Wear. I love that show. I love the revelations the women go through as they start to feel like they are pretty, and worth the time that the show's staff spend on them. Anyway, I also love the haircuts and makeup tips. I've been dying to get my hair chopped off for a few months now, and keep thinking that it will rejuvenate me somehow. But, I went and got a new clip from Sally's, and put my hair up yesterday, and actually felt like I looked cute and summery, instead of chunky and frumpy. I also had fun trying on my thrift shop clothes. I get SO much more satisfaction out of thrift store shopping than I do out of shopping at retail prices.

Saturday my daughter has her eye appointment. Of course I'm already a bit nervous about missing it. HAHA. I did miss one of her dentist appointments once. Well, not completely. We were twenty minutes late, and luckily they still took us in. Our dental office is great. I know I'm not going to forget the appointment, but when I type that, my stomach clenches up, and my gut says, "Oh, but you might...I wouldn't put it past you." Is that a self-esteem issue? I really am not sure!

I think I'm going to switch my blog to being private. I'm not sure. I think that I am going to go off of my medicine (again), and this time make myself substitute 20 to 30 minutes of hooping a day. I am going to make hooping a habit first, and then once it's a daily habit, I will wean off of the medicine.

I enjoyed my hooping session tonight. I did 30 minutes, and can feel it in my calves and butt. Tomorrow is lawn mowing day, and even though I'm actually not totally excited about it, it will be great exercise, and the dogs love mowing day. My daughter will roller-blade on the back patio, I'm sure, so it will be a fun little bit of outside time for us. Mowing usually takes about two hours.

I really need to go to bed. I've been working on this blog post all day. It's been a bit of a venting post, and I feel better after letting out a few things. My thoughts have been so scattered lately. My week off is wonderful, and of course I don't want to go back to work, but it will be ok. I can't believe that it's almost August. This summer is going by so fast.
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