Thursday, July 26, 2012
This week I've been feeling a little depressed. I think of all sorts of things that need to be done, look at it all and get overwhelmed. Yesterday I finally got the laundry folded after sitting there for a week. The mess is still in my kitchen and my husband had to do some of them the other day or we'd have no clean dishes right now. I'm really good at using all the dishes before washing them, then it takes two days to do it anyhow... I really hate dishes that much.
Instead of getting up and doing something, I sit here in front of the computer and even get bored doing that. I haven't felt happy all week. I know it will pass, I never stay depressed for long, but a week at a time is more than enough.
I hate the situation I'm in at the moment and winning the lottery would really help. I hate being poor and not being able to do as much for the kids as I'd like.
Eventually I'll get my house back in order and everything will stop overwhelming me. I know some of my mood is from perceived perceptions of how people would think of me if they knew certain things. I need to quit caring about how other people think of me. I'm usually one who doesn't care, but this week all the judgement is coming down on my head.
One good thing I have been noticing is that my father is trying harder to have a relationship. It may be subtle, but it's there. Our relationship used to be like two pieces of sandpaper, but I think the sand has been wearing off and we're starting to see the paper behind all the grit.
A second good thing that I didn't mention on official weigh in day was that I lost a little over a pound for the week. I'm not sure if it will keep going this week because of all the tension, but I do plan on going to my yoga class this Friday and that should help a lot of the tension go away, it always does when I take that class.