Some random thoughts.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
So there has been some really good things that have happened in my life the past 2 months, some things that I hope will alleviate some stress and allow me to focus on my health. Last month I took the EPPP (Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology)-the National licensure exam...and I passed it, which was a HUGE relief. Then this month I took the PPLE (Pennsylvania Psychology Law Exam) and found out yesterday that I passed...another HUGE relief. At this point, I have my doctorate degree, the 2 exams passed and now just need to finish up my postdoctorate hours, which should be completed on August 29th. At that point, I can turn in all my materials to get my license as a clinical psychologist...and finally be done with all the hurdles that I have continued to push through the past 25 years! It has been really good.
Also, I have a job pretty much lined up for once I get my license that it closer to home, a 50% salary increase, excellent hours, less stress and tons of flexibility. We are working on setting up the final pieces of getting this job secured...I am supposed to received an offer letter soon. We are thinking that this will start September 24th. This will allow me to spend more time at home and also more flexibility in work-out time.
Really good changes. I get discouraged though still after all these accomplishments when I look at myself. I was running on my elliptical today and kept looking down at my huge stomach. I couldn't help but thinking how huge I was...over and over. I feel it too, every moment I make and especially when I sit. I have never been this large and even when i had a bit of extra weight my stomach never looked like this. I know I had a baby and a c-section at that, but it is still so disappointing. Also, I know if I am persistent it will come off, but again still upsetting. I have accomplished so much in my educational and professional career....I just need to carry it over to my physical health AND I have done it before. I think with all the pressures, demands, etc. form my doctoral program it only contributed to my poor physical health. VERY little time to work out, eating out, needing to pack food to eat all day, stress, stress, stress. My husband always tells me that I have faced so much so I can't be so hard on myself, and while I know that is true I still expect so much of myself. So...I have to stay focused, but also I know work on my self-compassion and grace. I tell my therapy clients this all the time...and I know that having this compassion and grace, it will help me to stay focused.
So...there are my thoughts. I cheated a bit yesterday with a few glasses of wine and also was a bit bad and ate some McDonalds today (I know, it's horrible) but still stayed within my calorie range with both of these cheats. My water intake has been better lately, still tracking food and trying to work out 5-6 days a week. I worked out 4 days last week.
I also posted a few pics of my William...thought, might as well share one of my HUGE sources of motivation to lose this weight! He is so sweet! Love him so much!!!!