An evening of realization
Saturday, July 21, 2012
So last night I was craving some frozen yogurt, and I wouldn't let myself get any, thinking "I'm fat enough...I don't need to eat that." (I know, not a very kind thought to have) But then I became so focused on wanting it, that I couldn't get it out of my head even when I was trying to read.
And then I had this realization- the more I tell myself that I "shouldn't" have it, the more I'm reinforcing the belief that I AM fat. I mean, it wasn't like I was going out to have a full ice cream sundae with all the works..I'd had a healthy eating day, had room in my calorie allowance, drank LOTS of water....and this would be 200 calories of low fat frozen yogurt. So I switched my thinking, and thought this would be GOOD for me to have~ not rationalization but rather acknowledgment that while I'm not happy with how my body looks right now, denying myself this relatively healthy treat makes me feel like I'm in a much "worse" place than I am.
So, I decided to at least walk the 5 minutes to the store...and once I got outside, I thought, I should take the long way and do a couple more blocks to do a larger loop to get to there. As I started to walk, my legs felt like lead and I wanted to make it a short loop...Then I remembered the goals that I had just put on my SparkPage a couple days ago: : 30 minutes of exercise 4x/week and at least 10 minutes on the other 3 days. I had only ONE more 30 minute day and 2 more 10 minute days. So I thought, I'll make this a 10 minute day but each time I came to a side street that would have looped me back to the store, I told my self, "just walk a little father up to the next one." And whaddya know! Once I got to the store, I'd been walking for 20 minutes! It was a slow walk, so I didn't burn a ton of calories, but I felt good that I met another day's goal and that I didn't let myself down.