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Switching Gears: A Study of Me in the Now


Friday, July 20, 2012

After three years on Spark and hundreds of fresh starts, I've finally come to the conclusion that my focus may have been off along. I've been sabotaging myself inadvertently and it's time for yet another new beginning. :)

I need to focus on the air in my lungs, and the way my sneakers feel as they separate and return to the asphalt. I need to relish the taste of the fresh fruit that has replaced my afternoon coffee & cookie habit. Spark has taught me in the past to focus on small wins; I've broken my goals down before only to lose sight of the end goal, develop a position of complacency, and slip into Sparkpeople obscurity. I track less and less, I blog never. I dread the scale, dread facing coworkers who have seen me in everything from a size L scrubs to a tight 2X in the last 2 years. Recently, we began a 3 month weight loss challenge with a $400+ winner's pot. It's a hell of a motivator, to be honest. But the thing that has become my newest form of motivation, and my new choice of focus, is the feeling of now.

I keep waiting for my life to start. One day, I'll pay off my school loans, rock a size 8, start my sleeve, have a clean house, grow out my hair, have clear skin... I've been focusing on the future for so long. The long term goals I made a year ago didn't come to fruition because I focused so intently on where I was going and not at all at where I was at the time.

We recently made the decision for my husband to leave his 9-5 satisfaction-free job to return to school. It will take about three years, but we will double our yearly income and change our lives forever. In the mean time, I'm our only source of income and I'm still working on my master's degree full time. Thinking in the long term in this regard dose make it easier to face picking up an extra twelve hours per week at the hospital; it makes the prospect of switching to night shift to earn more money seem appealing. But it makes it INCREDIBLY crucial for me to focus on making every moment count. It's so cliche, but it has become a reality. I have to focus on making the most of my waking hours.

I left Facebook- it was stressing me out and having a negative impact on my life. So for those who care to join me, the next 5 months are going to be a study of me learning how to live in the now and learning how to truly LIVE. My goals will be set at one week at a time. I choose not to set my weeks in terms of Sunday to Saturday, because I work such a random schedule that weekends mean nothing. For instance today is MY Sunday.

Setting goals one week at time is a little strange for me, but it will help me focus on the now and accumulate small wins.

July 20 - July 27

emoticon Complete three c25k runs.

emoticon Drink 54 glasses of water.

emoticon Complete three circuit training workouts at the gym.

emoticon Meditate, journal or blog for 10 minutes every day.

emoticon Track every day

emoticon Do something recreational with the husband (non-gym related--- oh yeah, he goes to the gym with me now. He LOVES it. Still trying to get him to join SP, though. emoticon)

Alrighty then. Here I go.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
L*I*T*A* 7/21/2012 9:15AM

    all the best with your new plan..........
you can do it...believe you can and you will.....
blessings and hugs......lita

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SLAPTHEFATCAT 7/20/2012 10:59PM

    I need to learn how to live like that as well. Good to hear you have goals that can be made, but has to be worked at to attain.

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SHAREDJOURNEY1 7/20/2012 5:40PM

    WOW! Your study of you learning how to live in the now and learning how to truly LIVE really struck a nerve in me. We all need achievable goals. I've been on this journey long enough to realize that the changes I've implemented need to become a permanent change that comes from within. I still struggle to change the "diet" mentality into a permanent change. I'd rather be on a "diet," achieve the weight loss and then find a way to stay thin. This is especially true when I become too lenient with myself with food choices, tracking or being accountable. It's certainly true when I over estimate the amount of exercise I do. It's lunacy.
With your inspiration, maybe I will work on making goals that are "just for today." Thanks for posting.

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URGETTINTHIN 7/20/2012 3:57PM

    Wow, this is so me!! I decided after losing and gaining the same weight for the umpteenth time to change my FOCUS. Now I focus on the fact that when I'm exercising my heart is getting a good work out and is probably smiling (heheheheh). I also have decided not to focus on 'skinny' ever again. The weight will come off if I do what I'm supposed to do--that's a given. My focus is eating healthy and making exercise a part of my DAILY activities--not 3 to 4 times a week but daily.

YOU CAN DO IT! emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/20/2012 3:58:50 PM

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CCORWIN1 7/20/2012 3:57PM

    Good luck! Keep your chin up and your feet down, you got this girl! emoticon

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DIET_FRIEND 7/20/2012 3:49PM

    It is always interesting to me to read about how others motivate themselves. I go one day at a time versus a week at a time, but your plan sounds do-able and gives me food for thought.

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