After three years on Spark and hundreds of fresh starts, I've finally come to the conclusion that my focus may have been off along. I've been sabotaging myself inadvertently and it's time for yet another new beginning. :)
I need to focus on the air in my lungs, and the way my sneakers feel as they separate and return to the asphalt. I need to relish the taste of the fresh fruit that has replaced my afternoon coffee & cookie habit. Spark has taught me in the past to focus on small wins; I've broken my goals down before only to lose sight of the end goal, develop a position of complacency, and slip into Sparkpeople obscurity. I track less and less, I blog never. I dread the scale, dread facing coworkers who have seen me in everything from a size L scrubs to a tight 2X in the last 2 years. Recently, we began a 3 month weight loss challenge with a $400+ winner's pot. It's a hell of a motivator, to be honest. But the thing that has become my newest form of motivation, and my new choice of focus, is the feeling of now.
I keep waiting for my life to start. One day, I'll pay off my school loans, rock a size 8, start my sleeve, have a clean house, grow out my hair, have clear skin... I've been focusing on the future for so long. The long term goals I made a year ago didn't come to fruition because I focused so intently on where I was going and not at all at where I was at the time.
We recently made the decision for my husband to leave his 9-5 satisfaction-free job to return to school. It will take about three years, but we will double our yearly income and change our lives forever. In the mean time, I'm our only source of income and I'm still working on my master's degree full time. Thinking in the long term in this regard dose make it easier to face picking up an extra twelve hours per week at the hospital; it makes the prospect of switching to night shift to earn more money seem appealing. But it makes it INCREDIBLY crucial for me to focus on making every moment count. It's so cliche, but it has become a reality. I have to focus on making the most of my waking hours.
I left Facebook- it was stressing me out and having a negative impact on my life. So for those who care to join me, the next 5 months are going to be a study of me learning how to live in the now and learning how to truly LIVE. My goals will be set at one week at a time. I choose not to set my weeks in terms of Sunday to Saturday, because I work such a random schedule that weekends mean nothing. For instance today is MY Sunday.
Setting goals one week at time is a little strange for me, but it will help me focus on the now and accumulate small wins.
July 20 - July 27
Complete three c25k runs.
Drink 54 glasses of water.
Complete three circuit training workouts at the gym.
Meditate, journal or blog for 10 minutes every day.
Track every day
Do something recreational with the husband (non-gym related--- oh yeah, he goes to the gym with me now. He LOVES it. Still trying to get him to join SP, though.
Alrighty then. Here I go.