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For clarification, but not to beat a dead horse, on the negativity thing

Friday, July 20, 2012

So I feel like my last blog came off a little imperious at the end and I wanted to clarify. I was having a hard time putting into words what I wanted to get across. Thankfully, a few of my SparkFriends hit the nail on the head and said it right.

SNOWANGELDIVA said-I love having a place to dump my emotional crap and have people come along and 'hoorah' me out of a funk or defeat. If I have a friend that seems to revel in the poison of negativity and isn't trying to shake it and seems to expect me to fuel their fire; I have to let them go because their poison effects me too. If I simply don't have it in me to withstand negativity I blog-skip. The joys of friendship.

OMMAMA7 said-I totally understand what you are saying about the negativity. I've had to do the same thing. If others' complaints and attitude are becoming detrimental to our own health and goals, we need to put ourselves first. When I'm in a negative mood I normally don't share on here. If I do it's a brief "I'm struggling" and looking for advice/ideas on something specific. Anything more serious would go into a private journal. This is where I come to share when I'm pumped and excited and proud!!

I fully agree that SparkBlogs are a great place to air out your thoughts when you are feeling down so you can get advice and support from your friends. I do that often. We all do. That's what its for. I guess what I was trying to point out is that there are people in the world who are "happy being sad" and who feed off the sympathy and support of others. My Mother is a prime example of this. Even if things are going well, she would rather point out the bad things so people will feel sorry for her and offer up support. I have lived with people like that in my life for 32 years and I am tired of it. I had to trim off a few Sparkers who I felt were guilty of that behavior. I don't believe they will be affected by my absence. We all know so little about each other that its hubris to think I'd rate highly enough to affect them.

I have met some truly fantastic and amazing people here on Spark and I love hearing about all of your triumphs and your failures. I love that we can all support each other, or kindly slap each other out of it when necessary. I am quite sure that I will have some pitfalls and drama to report in the future, but I will do my best not to let that take over my life. And I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for understanding and supporting that. That's what SparkPeople is all about!




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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCAREWALDORF 7/22/2012 8:24AM

    Well said! Hope the weekend has been kind to you.

xoxo

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OMMAMA7 7/20/2012 5:09PM

    Amen! Glad I could help ;)

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BECKY3126 7/20/2012 3:10PM

    I think that it was explained perfectly. Yesterday and today, but I guess maybe someone could have misunderstood the sentiment yesterday.

I have had to remove myself from a few friends lives over the years due to this same thing. I also have family members who are the same way. It is difficult to be around someone who is always looking at the negative and chasing sympathy. I want to know about the GOOD things in your life too! I want to be able to celebrate your successes in life.

There is always something positive to find. You just gotta look in the right direction.

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JAYDEE16 7/20/2012 2:05PM

    Word. :)

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BOGUSANNIE 7/20/2012 1:20PM

    Well said Lauren! emoticon

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LINDSEYHS31 7/20/2012 1:08PM

    Great post! I really enjoy reading motivating posts. It is hard for me to explain to my husband what I love about SparkPeople but you summed it up nicely. My husband has never been overweight and loves eating what ever he wants.... no wonder he doesn't grasp the concept of a bunch of people supporting each other on a difficult weight loss journey.
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_JODI404 7/20/2012 1:06PM

    Awesome clarification and great blog!

I love this: "I love that we can all support each other, or kindly slap each other out of it when necessary".

SparkFriends are the BEST!! No one benefits from toxic negativity though.

Hope you have a super fantastic weekend ahead!!

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