Thursday, July 19, 2012
I am 44 years old, I have 3 children of my own and 2 step children along with 1 grandson. This should be packaged full of blessings, in my case, nothing but stress - days on end. Not saying I don't love all my children bc I do, very, very much. I have raised my children to be independent, to be able to stand on there own, to be able to fend for themselves and to be honest individuals. Then I think, was I wrong to teach them these things....hmmm, I don't know. Being a single mom raising 3 beautiful & wonderful children it was majorly tough.
Now since the economy is a rocky road my children are not wanting to succeed as hard. The oldest of my children is 25, she was fired from her first long time position back in March, now with a new position at a well known company, in which she starts Monday, she speaks only of " I think I can" That just tells me that her self esteem has dropped :( I don't ever remembering to teach her I can't and phrasing that up " I think I can" tells me she saying I can't in the end. Bring on the ice cream!!
My son, which will be 21 in December, has become so wishy washy, that I don't even know who he is anymore. After graduating in 2010, he took it up on himself to go out and have intercourse with a young lady bc he is now a big time a graduate ( high school that is), he knows what he is doing and doesn't need parental advice to make good choices in life anymore. One month later, he shows up with this young lady, asking " What do we do, mom?" Hmm.... I look at them both then gently asked them " what do you think your options are?" They both glazed at each other, then turned to me and said, " We want to have the baby" Ok then, are you willing to get married? or are you just saying you want to have to baby then give it up for adoption? They say "Marriage" Okie dokie, really hard for mom to swallow that her baby boy will be getting married at the age of 17 and becoming a father at 18. Wow, crazy life, that's not even the kicker here. They still have to tell her mom and then convince her mom to give up her rights and sign her over to my son. (she was only 16) I thought I had alot to swallow. So bring on the brownies!!!
During, all this and going on to 9 months later, where is this young girls mom?, No where near her during the whole pregnancy, I felt led to be there for her. 16 year old girls do not need to go through this part of life without a mother, so for 9 months I held the hand of my son's wife and we all gave birth to a baby boy! Now I can add another child to my family tree, just so excited. Then mom decides she wants to be a part of her daughter's and grandson's life, so I step back. Bring on the cheeseburgers!!
After a year with momma, her mom decides she's moving out of state with an old boyfriend and won't be back. That young lady's heart is broken again. Returning back to mother n law she comes, baby and all. My son on the other hand, has now decide he too, wants to leave this young lady. I am at my wit's end, now I am here, trying hold down a full time job, raise my youngest daughter (8) and keep things held together in the family. I reassure my son that he is a husband and father, that he can do this. I guess he has bit off more then he can chew, kids are not meant to be parents. (don't mean to offend anyone) Gaining about 20 pounds during the year.
Then, bring it on, we find out that my step daughter decides to secretly get married. The only daughter my husband has. To watch my husband (who he has raised both kids on his own) just go into a down mode, broke my heart. Knowing that he has never done anything to those kids to cause pain like this. Just devastating! Bring on more brownies, save some for husband.
My husband's oldest child, doesn't say or do much, he is very reserved. I think back to when I came into this family, he was going into his senior year of school. Due dad new wife and kids, we had a lot of scrunching to do in the house. So he moves to his mother's home, where he had no rules. This boy is genius, scoring as high as one can in school, on SAT's, ACT's, and many others. Now, he sits at the computer day in and day out playing video games, he has no job and no desire to get a job....Why? He dropped out of school, 3 months prior to graduating high school. He is ashamed, we try to build his self esteem up and his mother turns around and tears right back down. He is now 24, still praying.
See it doesn't matter, who or how you raise your children, there will always be someone more challenging cross their paths and knock them down. It is you that has to pick them up, dust them off and send them encouraging thoughts their way, or you too will also be affected. Physically and emotional it might bounce back to you.
In the past 8 years married to my husband, I have gained close to 50 lbs. Just from emotional eating, the stress, pressure and worries of so many lives at hand here. Much more to these stories and each one brought me a piece of cake.