I've been on a bit of a pity party. Those are no fun, and no one ever wants to join in with you. And what is so hard, sometimes its really hard to get off of the pity party merry-go-cycle.
This morning when I got up, I weighed myself. It is not my weigh-in day but I do weigh-in a few times a week to get an idea of how things are going. I was aggervated because the scale started moving up. I already had a gain last week, and I don't want another repeat.
I asked myself what is going on, where am I slacking at. Well for one, yesterday was a really difficult day. What did I do but dive back into old habits of feeding my emotions, and I didn't track at all yesterday. That is a bad combo.
Another thing I haven't been doing is getting all my water in. I don't know why but I did really good for the first few weeks getting all my water in, and then the last 2 weeks have been hard getting water down. It's not that I don't like water because I do.
Something else is that I have not been exercising. I did attempt to exercise a couple weeks ago, and actually did good that week but after that, I lost steam in my motivation engine. I didn't exercise at all last week, and this week was headed down that same path.
So looking at the 3 things that probably did not help, I realize that those 3 things of not doing have helped the scale to start moving upwards. This is not what I want to keep struggling with all my life. I want victory over this.
So today, I went back to what I did when I first started on my weightloss journey, and started reading some blogs. That is always motivational to read other people's thoughts about what is going on in their world, and how they are doing on their journey.
Another thing I thought about was how much I want to run. That is a dream that used to be a reality that got lost some where among the yucks of life. I want to get back to that place of being able to run. Its been over 20yrs since I ran. When I was running I was running 4 miles each time. I soooo much want to get back to that place. The feeling that comes with running is just amazing, it helps to clear your thoughts, helps the endorphines to get going, and gives you an umphhhh that sometimes get you past the yucks.
I came across a youtube video that another sparker had posted, and it just blew me away. www.youtube.com/watch?v=
After watching that, I thought if this guy can do it, then so can I. I have a lot of weight to lose. I don't want that if I only lose "X" pounds then I can start running to be my excuse for why I haven't started yet.
So today, I got off my duff and went for my walk. But this time I decided I wasn't just going to walk, I was going to add some jogging in with it. I probably looked horrid doing this but I don't care. I'm tired of my excuses of why I can't. I did a brisk walk for the first 5 min, and then I did intervals of jogging for 10 secs then walking 20 secs. I only did 4/10 of a mile since that it is 2/10 one way to the nearest stop sign from my house.
When I finished, I felt soooo good. I probably looked funny out there because this is a mass of body but I don't care. It takes me usually 9-10 mins to walk this but today I did my 4/10 in 8min and 29secs. YAYYYY.
My plan is to continue this 3x/wk, and when I get to the place its not such a struggle, I'm going to add in another 4/10. I hope to eventually get to the place where I can do 4 miles again but I know this will take time. I didn't get to the weight I am in one day, nor will I get to the place of 4 miles in one day either. I am determined to do this.