So I struggled yesterday with many things in my head.

1) I REALLY want to see a loss on the scale this week. Even after 3 weeks of loss, I still feel like I haven't quite broken through this plateau yet...so I really feel like I need a loss this week to feel like I'm still moving in the right direction.

2) My weight is up right now. This is probably partly due to TOM, partly due to a little "bad" eating on my part in the first part of the week, and partly due to my body being a PITA right now. *lol* I weighed in at Friday's weigh-in at 305.8, but have been hovering at 307 and 307.2 for the past few days. Which really makes #1 look hopeless.

3) My body is SORE. My hip/pelvic pain wasn't magically cured by a Chiropractor's visit. Go figure, right?! ;) I'm still icing and recovering, and my hip is still sore. It didn't really feel bad on my run the other night, but while stretching later, I think I may have reinjured it somehow because I had nightmares about the pain and woke up HURTING. It feels a little better today, so at least that's good. But add to that the fact that my knee popped during my swim yesterday morning and I've been feeling some tightness in the back of that knee and...well, my body feel pretty beat up right now.

So I struggled with the thoughts in my head of whether to continue to push through or back off. I hate these decisions, as I'm sure most of us do. There's really no way of knowing 100% what is the right thing to do. I sat with the thoughts all day and weighed my options and came up with the following.

1) My knee. There have been times that this bad knee of mine hasn't bothered me at all, no matter what kind of stress I put it under. When are those times? When I'm doing serious ST or lifting. When I build up the muscles around that knee, the knee cap tends to stay in place better.

2) Running right now is hurting me. It may not always be like this, but if I continue to push it, I'm just going to end up not being able to do anything because of the pain. So maybe it's really not time quite yet to get my running legs back.

3) The one thing I really AM doing okay at is my swimming. I feel easier and more comfortable in the pool and now that I have access to one, it would be a shame to waste that. I've gone from struggling to do 100 yards in the pool, to doing 1200 yesterday. I've gone from breathing heavy after one 1/2 lap, to being able to do 10 laps (20 touches). I'm improving.

4) Yes, I've taken my measurements. I took them the other day, just to get an update on what's happening. Even with the bloat, my hips/waist area is about the same, so maybe after the bloating leaves I'll actually have lost an inch or so there. But where I've really lost is my shoulders/upper arms and my legs. Both thighs and calves have shrunk a bit...so it wasn't all that odd to hear Hubs remark just last night out of the blue, "Your legs are getting smaller! I can tell." I hadn't told him about my measurements and he still noticed. So while I'd really like this belly to go away, at least there are improvements being made. And I can't really credit that to running because I haven't been able to do that much of that. The only thing I've been doing consistently is swimming.

5) My body needs taken care of by me. I've been pushing it hard lately, and that's been a great test of both my motivation and my ability. But if I push too hard, I end up too sore to continue. So it's time to level off and find the happy place as far as my workouts are concerned.

6) My work schedule changes next week. Ethan starts football in 2 weeks. Things are about to change, and I need to be ready for them. More than that, I need to be ready to not have as much time to devote to myself and to this process as I once did. Football eats up a lot of our time, so I'm going to have to make sure I plan ahead so I can get what I need to continue on and still give my kids what they need. Plus, school starts next month and I need to be ready for nights full of homework with Logan to make sure he doesn't fall behind this year. (Ethan is self-sufficient on that front.) That means making dinner on time and being there to make sure all of Logan's homework is completed and checked and that he fully understands the concepts involved.

It's time to stop overthinking things.
It's time to make a plan I can stick with full-time.
K.I.S.S. - Keep it simple, stupid.
No time to play games. I need to know what's going on each day so I don't have to think about it and can just go do.

Here's what I've come up with...

For the next two days, I will not workout. I will give my body the time it needs to rest. I will relax and take a breath and enjoy life. Okay, I will MOSTLY not workout. I have scheduled one 30 minute yoga session for tomorrow so that I can stretch out the kinks in my body. It should give me another 150 calorie burn and set me right at my calorie burn for the week. But if I don't have time for it (new development last night - my washer is broken...so I need to add a trip to the laundry mat into my Friday plans... *sigh*), I'm not going to stress. I will eat a little less to compensate for the decline in activity, but will not starve myself.

I'm going to do my best to ignore this guy tomorrow morning. Let's face it, this morning I got another 307.2 reading. The cramps are on full-force and I'm deep into week 2 of this horrible TOM that may last ALL month. Some things just cannot be overcome. I can't let the stress ruin my weekend and my life. I need to just accept what happens and move on. Heck, maybe if I don't go crazy over it, I'll see a really BIG loss next week and get caught up. But even if I don't, just knowing that I did what my mind, body and soul needed this week should be enough to make me feel okay about how I handled myself.

I'm not giving up. I've made new plans that I can stick to and feel better about myself for them.

Mondays, Wednesdays, and now Fridays - I will swim my laps, working toward my one mile swim goal.

On those same days, or three other days in the same week, I will go to the gym and lift weights like I know I should. Time to pull out NROLFW and let that plan work for me. It will make my body stronger and will not wear me out completely for the rest of my workouts.

And one day a week - probably Saturday - I will give myself a 30 minute yoga session to make sure I work out all the kinks in my body and prepare myself for the week to come. I need to invest in a couple more Yoga DVDs to be sure, but that's something I'm more than prepared to do.

If I cannot get to the gym for my ST lessons, I will pull out a tried and true bodyweight routine that includes things like squats, lunges, planks, pushups, and those dreaded burpees. I know that I know how to make up circuit routines, so I need to make up a strength circuit that will help me in those days when I feel stuck or suffocated by the gym and my list of to-dos.

I will eat at a slightly lower range, but not too much lower. Let's face it, when I eat right, I have a problem trying to get my 2400 calories on a daily basis. I'm going to shoot for 2200 or thereabouts. At least, I think that's what I came up with yesterday...I'll have to go check one last time to be sure. If I'm doing heavy lifting and feel hungrier, though, I will understand that my body needs more to enhance/build my muscles and may go back to a higher range. I'll have to play that one by ear.

For right now, I'm not going to count my ST as a calorie burn workout. It's just going to be "extra" for right now. I need some time to just focus on form and function and getting my muscles stronger without worrying about how many calories I need to burn.

If I stick to the plan above, I should be on target to lose weight. I will workout about 3-4 hours a week, which is plenty for someone who is trying to lose weight without letting it take over her life. Working out 7-9 hours a week is something for figure competitors and athletes. I am neither, therefore, there is no need for me to attempt to rise to that level of gym perfection. In those 4 hours in the gym (and with the yoga at home), I should be burning around 1800 calories. That's 1/2 a pound right there. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

If I feel up to it, I will take long walks or might squeeze in a short run or two. I'd like to not lose any stamina I've rebuilt for running, so it'd be great to get one in each week if I can. But I'm not going to force it...I'm just going to let it happen if it will and if I feel up to it.

=== === === ===
Here's the next 9 days mapped out then:

Today - REST, ICE, and HEAL
Friday - REST, ICE and HEAL and try to do 30 minutes of Yoga
Saturday - Hiking for 1-2 hours without worrying about calorie burn AT ALL
Sunday - REST, ICE and HEAL
Monday - Laps in the pool, repeating week 3 of my training, ST session after work
Tuesday - REST
Wednesday - Laps in the pool, Week 3 Day 2 again, ST session after work
Thursday - REST
Friday - Laps in the pool, Week 3 Day 3 again, ST session after work

NROLFW Week 1:

A1 - Squats, Pushups, Seated Rows, Step-Ups, Prone Jackknifes

A - Barbell Squats (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B1 - Pushups (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B2 - Seated Cable Rows (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C1 - Step-Ups (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C2 - Prone Jackknife (2 sets, 8 reps, 60 second rest)


B1 - Deadlifts, Shoulder Presses, Wide-Grip Lat Pulldowns, Lunges, Exercise Ball Crunches

A - Deadlift (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B1 - Dumbbell Shoulder Press (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B2 - Wide-Grip Lat Pulldowns (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C1 - Lunges (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C2 - Swiss-Ball Crunch (2 sets, 8 reps, 60 second rest)


A2 - Squats, Pushups, Seated Rows, Step-Ups, Prone Jackknifes

A - Barbell Squats (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B1 - Pushups (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B2 - Seated Cable Rows (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C1 - Step-Ups (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C2 - Prone Jackknife (2 sets, 8 reps, 60 second rest)

=== === === ===

So that's the KISS plan.
Laps 3 times a week.
Lifting (or bodyweight ST) 3 times a week.
Yoga 1 time a week.

Ever feel like you're pushing too hard? Do you usually try to break through the pain or do you try to change the plan to suit your needs?