I feel it starting already...

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I go back to school on the 1st for professional development. Then we have family conferences on the 9th and 10th, and kids come back on the 13th.

Because of this, I have to get my classroom unpacked, put together, and ready to go by the 1st of August. My team and I are the only ones who have been in to do that, save one other teacher who did hers in four hours at the beginning of July. She didn't have much to do--she teaches the middle school level and there's not a lot of "stuff" for that level to unpack or move around. I started the week after July 4 to do mine...And I'm glad I did. Now with other people in the building, they keep coming in to ask me about if I have this they can borrow, if I can help them move that, if I can do this for them or that... It's easier to be there alone....I can get more done.

In addition to this, I am trying to put together professional development for our staff, but my director said, oh just wait...we'll meet next week to do it. I don't think she understands that I can't do stuff at the last minute yet... I also can't wait till the week before to plan out our year. But no on else seems interested in planning. My teammates refuse to even discuss it... My director said she wants us to wait because "we'll have some time during the PD portions of the weeks before to do it." No...we won't.

What happens to teachers just before school starts is amazing. They are hyper focused on their classrooms....and pissed off when they aren't allowed to be in them putting them together. They are angry through every meeting, every activity, and every required discussion about anything that is NOT their classrooms. Some even refuse to participate and sit and pout.

I'm also trying to work with a friend to finish his master's project. (I'll advise all of you to NEVER DO THIS.) I seem to be doing more work on it than he is. He came over the other night so we could revise a full section of it and he stayed an hour....all of a sudden had to leave. And then he went out of town until tonight, when we are going to meet at 7, and really hope we can knock out the last part of this so I don't have to think about it anymore. He has one chapter left after this bit, and it needs to be finished and turned in prior to the 1st because I will not have any time to help him. I have had to be available whenever he wanted all summer long...and frankly, I'm sick of it. I spent the weekend in Woodland Park with Brad, and was made to feel guilty for going....even though I was only up there in the evening on Saturday and again in the evening on Sunday. He completely overbooked himself this summer and hasn't put much effort into it... When we started working together on this, he wrote, I edited what he wrote and didn't add anything, and the instructor gave no feedback other than stating that he wanted to fail him because the project was so bad... long story short, on my advice, he went to his advisor and asked to be moved into a different class. I completed my project like this two years ago and it's not a turn and and get a grade kind of thing--it requires contestant revisions and is a working document until the whole thing is finished....his instructor wasn't going about it that way--he felt that he should not have to give any feedback and just hand out grades for the various parts. So, my friend got into another instructor's class and she's been good for him. I just wish that he was putting this on the FRONT burner instead of the's making my summer crap. A couple weeks ago his fiancee had a nervous breakdown about a whole bunch of things and has been struggling with that, so I'm trying to be mindful of that as well....part of me thinks he needs to request an extension because what's going on with her isn't allowing him to be present for this, and I understand that...but it's frustrating.

So needless to say I feel it starting already. The past two days have been awful despite my best intentions each morning food-wise... I ended up having to STAY at school until almost 6 Tuesday night (after getting there at 8 and working with no break and constant interruptions) to wait for others who wanted to go to run club. And I ate badly...chik-fil-a... After the run I ordered mozzarella sticks and the children who came with us ate mine... And then someone at our table drank half my beer on accident thinking it was theirs... And then I caught pictures of me from Tuesday night's run club...and that made me feel even worse. Everything I hate about my body was present and public...and now published to the web for everyone on earth to see.

Today will be busy... I need to spend 90% of today at school, then come home and shower, and then drive back to Old Colorado City for a going away party for someone I will miss like crazy that I can only spend about an hour at because then I have to drive BACK here to meet with my friend to work on his project (because there just isn't any other time...duh...TOMORROW?) I don't know how people run themselves like this all the time. I can't operate like this for long, with no time for me.

The only thing that is keeping me going is knowing that at 10am on Saturday, I get to go to yoga outside in the park. I don't have time to do anything else, but THAT I get to do. And god help anyone who tries to make me feel guilty for taking that one hour this week just for me.

And on that note I guess I should get out of here and go to school...

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHEEKY1000
    I just wish I could get into my room! They're doing all kinds of electrical rewiring this summer. Not only do I need to set up my room, but theyswitched rooms on me and the new one is very different from my old one. Anyhow, it's stressing me out, plus I have a new class to teach and I need to prep--but stuff is all at work. Gaaaaa!

    Glad you are making time to see Brad, but sorry it's making you crazy to do all of that driving.

    Take a deep breath, let it out slowly. Repeat as needed. LOL
    2042 days ago
    So have been there and done that. About a month or more ago I got to the point of no more I am doing feeling guilty for trying to do something for someone and not having them pick up their end of the slack. I have a friend that for the last year has been remodeling his second half of his duplex (due to a water accident from the previous renter everything had to be gutted and redone). About two weeks into June he was pretty much finished and had people will to rent. Near the end of May I printed out a bunch of leases for him to look over and use to make his own lease but he waited till the last minute and wanted my help in typing it up and making sure he didn't miss anything. Twice, once Monday night and again on a Wednesday night we were supposed to meet up but other things came up that took him from taking care of this. So the renter was coming on Friday of that week to go over the lease and put money down to take the duplex. Guess what he was doing Friday morning. But you know what that was the straw that did me in. So many times I try to be the person to help out as much as I can and if the things didn't get done I would always feel so guilty and that it was my fault somehow that it wasn't done. Or I would stay up all night trying to fix whatever it was, but you know what if the person would put just as much effort into their own stuff as I have then I won't have been up all night fixing things with them for them. I wasn't going to gain anything by helping take care of their problems.

    Trust me after years of always being this way it has taken me a bit to let that go and know that I did and have done everything I could to help that person out. I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for doing something for me because they have something they need done, but yet hadn't put has much effort into as I have.

    It's great to help out but it sucks to be the door mat. Also with the planning at work. So in the middle of that right now too. Our lease for our one building came up in at the end of June. Our head office never made plans to move us anywhere. We have an office about 30 minutes from where our old office was where some of our people already where. So we had to start planning our own move at the end of May. Then of course when the end of June was coming near Corp came a knocking asking what we had planned or if we could talk to the person that we were leasing from to may be let us have a few more months. GRRRRR. . . Such ill planning all the time. Now it's down to just three of us in our department when we had 10 when I first started. So it's a bit stressful when no one communicates with you on what's going on and you are stuck trying to do 3 other peoples jobs.

    Hang in there find yourself take your stand. Remember God only gives us what we can handle. (sometimes I wish he would spread it out a bit more)

    Getting off my soap box now emoticon
    2047 days ago
    While it's admirable of you to help your friend... isn't finishing the project HIS responsibility? It seems to me that he needs to make it a priority and his focus, and you're the one doing that, not him. I'd say step back on that and put it on him! Especially if he made you feel guilty for going to spend time with Brad - that's just not OK!! You said he overbooked himself and hasn't put much effort into HIS project. That doesn't make it YOUR responsibility, my friend! You've got enough on your plate with the start of school coming - step back on that one and let him figure it out.

    I so hear you on the last-minute thing. I hate that, too. And when you're relying on other people to help with planning, and they're dragging their feet and don't want to do it, it just SUCKS. My team (I'm the lead for the LA team again this year... yay) met earlier this week, and it was good for a before school meeting, but it's going to be an interesting year, I think. We have lots of new blood, and while that's fun, it can also be stressful as everyone figures out their place in the order of things.

    Your observation about teachers just before school is spot on! We do freak out if we can't be in our rooms! That's why I'm so glad I'm getting mine done early - I do NOT want to be at school the weekend before we go back stressing about getting it done. I'm amazed at the teachers who haven't been on campus at all yet, when nearly all of us had to move to new rooms this year. I'd be a basket case!

    Don't forget to pack some healthy snacks for your long days! Stop and get some fruit or something, maybe? That's my plan this morning - on the way to school my kiddo and I will stop for some grapes and carrots to munch so I'm not famished by lunch.

    Thinking of you to get through the rest of the week!!
    2047 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.