Wednesday, July 18, 2012
I am not going to lie...at first I thought I would never make it through the day. I didn't sleep well last night, I had to be up early for the boys I watch (in addition to my own kids), and I just didn't feel great. I wanted to give up and crawl back in bed before it even started, but I knew I couldn't and I knew if I waited long enough that the little voice inside me would start cheering me on. I went on about my day as if I wasn't exhausted and I pushed through. I decided to update my goals and join some more Spark Teams because I need the motivation. I just kept praying for the energy and strength to make it through the day and I kept telling myself I am made for more. The energy I needed to accomplish each task was there. I decided to stay home from church tonight and just send the hubby and the kids because I knew my focus wasn't going to be on the sermon. So after they left, I cleaned up from dinner, did the dishes, cleaned the bathrooms, and decided it was time to workout. I put in my earbuds, turned up the volume, set a timer for 30 minutes, and hopped on the elliptical. I have never been on the elliptical for 30 minutes at once before and I went into it determined. I was going to stay on there (with a couple of water breaks) until the timer went off. I can't give up and quit anymore. I can't say that only 10 minutes is good enough. It is time to push myself and stretch and reach for what I want. While I was on the elliptical, sweat pouring off me, I was praying and listening to my Christian music. Every time I thought "Maybe I will just take a break for a couple of minutes" another song would come on that spoke to my heart about the emotions and things I have been going through and I would just sing and then pour my heart out to God. I used my time on the elliptical not to give up like I normally would, but to let God speak to me, to pray to Him about things I needed to pray about, and to let the music move me. I can tell you I am so glad no one was home with me during my workout tonight. They would have thought I went insane between the singing, praying, laughing, and crying and that is okay with me because I needed to feel those emotions, I needed to pray those prayers, I needed to laugh with joy, and I needed to cry out to God and cry tears. I needed tonights workout to turn my day around and let what could have been a really bad day where I just gave up and gave in to turn into something beautiful where I ended up feeling refreshed and renewed even after 30 minutes of working out. I didn't give up and I didn't give in, I made it through today and I even turned it around into a good day.