Tuesday, July 17, 2012
I love to read the blogs that other people write whenever I need a little inspiration or perhaps sometimes need a reminder that others have mutual challenges when it comes to living healthfully. Still, I've hesitated to share anything of myself because, in an odd way, it makes me feel vulnerable to a host of related issues.
For example, I've seen the suggestion about letting your friends and family know about your goals, but I have to admit that this strategy backfires on me. I end up having friends appear to monitor my progress and judge everything I eat when we go out, so I am then subjected to the stress of being scrutinized by people I once enjoyed being with. I feel like every conversation becomes centered around exercise, what not to eat, and caloric intake. Ultimately, I end up avoiding the friends in an effort to get away from the constant reminders.
Also, there is something about writing about your struggles and goals, even if it is on an anonymous site such as this, that makes it all the more "real". It's so much easier to keep it all in your head, safely vague and not so "out there" and tangible. You can't feel like a failure if you don't set a goal in the first place, right?
But I did set some goals, if only to myself. I have managed to lose half the weight already. And at this halfway point I am finding myself perched on that precarious, slippery slope that sends me backward. Thus, I think it is good just to say it here and now (with no one in particular to hear it), that I need to engage more openly with the struggle. I need to start journaling my food intake again, schedule regular calendar dates for work outs, and hey, when did I stop doing my free weights? Without legitimate tracking of my action/inaction, I seem to become complacent rather quickly!
Well I guess I've answered the question: To blog, or not to blog? Simply writing this has helped me acknowledge some inescapable facts. I have to continue, I don't have to tell everyone about what I am attempting to do, just someone (including myself). And blogging is a good way to keep me from eating, since I am not inclined to do both simultaneously!