Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Crying tears of joy right now.. What is the date? I want to mark this day. Today I decided to just do jogging for cardio-- nothing else and see how far I could go. I did 15 minutes...then 20. Then I told myself I could jog 30. Just keep going you can do it. I have NEVER jogged 30 minutes in my entire life (ok maybe when I was playing as a little kid). Every time I thought "maybe that's good enough for today" the number 30 kept popping up. I listened to the lyrics of the songs that were playing and pictured the faces of people I loved. I saw Greg's face floating in front of me --reminded me of Bohemian Rhapsody LOL. I told myself if their lives depended on it -I would keep running. At 26 minutes my legs needed to quit but the Ghuetta song "Titanium" came on. I thought--- this is a GREAT song to end this workout on and so I kept jogging. Lyrics: "I'm criticized. But all your bullets ricochet. You shoot me down but I get up. I'm bulletproof. Nothing to lose. Fire away. fire away." I sang out and jogged and glanced down to see 28 seconds left in the song and I just started crying. I was so overwhelmed that I was doing it I jogged for 30 minutes straight. I am almost wondering if I am asleep and just dreaming right now..... I want to enjoy this moment right here and right now. I want to appreciate being alive and be thankful for everything good in my life. But I am also going to slightly entertain the idea of setting another goal. If I could do 30 minutes... maybe in a couple months I can jog for an hour straight. And maybe someday I will lose enough weight and get my knee strong enough to full out run. It's hard to grasp the idea that I could do that but I am really starting to believe anything is possible.
Anything is possible Jackie.... I love you