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    MICHELLESMILES_   15,276
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Tuesday, July 17, 2012



I have not fallen. I am still here.

This morning I weighed 212 pounds, which means I have gained back 14.
That is the hardest thing for me to write. It is so hard because I haven't felt like this in over a year and a half. The feeling of being lost. The feeling of not knowing what I'm doing. Am I doing the right things? The things that I am eating, can I eat them for the rest of my life? I do know one thing, I do not want to go back to the unhappy person I was before.



So yesterday I decided I would start completely over. I love the spark app, but I decided to download myfitnesspal, just for something different for a while. I want this so bad. I think slowly but surely my mind is going back to the right place. Yesterday was great, today is going even better.

I can do this. We can do this.



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPSPSP1 10/5/2012 12:51AM

    Hope you're still at it! You don't have to do everything "perfectly". There are a lot of great and healthy things you can find on this journey. Maybe it's a fabulous new recipe...maybe a short hike to a beautiful vista. Find the joy, not the punishment.

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LISATIPPIE 10/2/2012 2:39PM

    I'm thinking of you!!! Don't give up on yourself. You're wonderful and you deserve the best! I miss seeing your inspirational updates! Plesae come back soon. emoticon

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SPSPSP1 9/17/2012 3:03AM

    Where are you? Have you gained more? Lost more? Stayed steady? I hope you haven't given up on yourself! And, if you have, start over!

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SPSPSP1 9/9/2012 2:40AM

    Stay strong!

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MELLABELLAS 8/30/2012 11:34PM

    Hey girl. We all have our ups & downs on this crazy weight loss journey. I am also using myfitness pal. The ease of adding foods and exercise is actually great compared to this site unfortunately. If you would like to add me my username is Korva. I'm not sure how often you check spark but feel free to add me on there any time. I think we started sparking around the same time, and you have always helped inspire me. Don't give up!

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DECLETJ 8/26/2012 3:34PM

    I am going through the same thing! Arrg!! I have gained 12lbs, and it is so hard for me to admit that.
This is my day 1 and I am going to continue to make good choices!!
Good Luck to you!! You can do it!!
emoticon

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BMCKEOW1 7/30/2012 12:49PM

    You can do this. Its a stumble not a fall. You're on the right track to making a great comeback.

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DTYUNGU 7/30/2012 10:36AM

    We have ALL been there! I like the idea of a new app for a while... i use strava for tracking my runs (super simple app)

Never give up! Never surrender!

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BABBINA 7/30/2012 2:02AM

    Heeyyy, when you come back, we'll be right here cheering for ya!! Just emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GEMINIGEM6 7/29/2012 1:43AM

    Girl you can do it! Look how far you've already come! :)

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MADMADDIETGRRL 7/27/2012 3:08PM

    I kept messing up whether it be by eating too much or not exercising enough and I would constantly start over right down to making a new spark page profile.
I decided giving up and starting over was no longer healthy for me. I have to realize that one mistake is not a failure. I came back to my original profile and am keeping at it. I will not fail because I won't give up. Failing is quitting. I am not nearly where i want to be but I have what i need to start and that is the desire to do better.
Good luck and great job on how far you have come so far.

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DEEJON123 7/27/2012 1:41AM

    emoticon

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WOMANATWORK1 7/26/2012 8:18PM

    A set back is a set up for a comeback! You can do it!!! emoticon

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BONITA-GORDITA 7/26/2012 1:06PM

    Hon, we all falter at times. This is a LIFELONG process. It never goes away. Been there many times myself and I'm sure will be there again. Love yourself no matter what.

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HEIDIE6 7/26/2012 8:24AM

  You helped me a lot with your blog. Never giving up is the answer--each day we must pick it up and try to do better. I'm right here with you. I don't make it everyday but I am seeing an up trend in days when I make the most of everyday. emoticon

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FIREFLY_MEDIC 7/25/2012 3:45PM

    :)

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STELLASMYBEBE 7/25/2012 11:20AM

    It is reassuring to know that we are not alone and we all stumble. emoticon

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SHASHA929 7/25/2012 12:08AM

    I just started over this past June and have seen a difference. Small baby steps. Remember.....this is a marathon, not a sprint.
If I can do it, you can do it.


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GARDENSFORLIFE 7/24/2012 6:31PM

    You can start over and do it! emoticon
I wish you the best- emoticon

You will not fall; you will do it!

Comment edited on: 7/24/2012 6:31:52 PM

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LANIKAI65 7/24/2012 7:56AM

  Hi Michelle

I've read all of your blogs (feel like a stalker..) and have to say you're my spark hero. You've done such an amazing job and I'm sure you can reach whatever goal you set for yourself. Having this setback only proves you're human.

emoticon and emoticon

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LEALOWE 7/24/2012 12:41AM

    You can do this. I was feeling discouraged today about my weight loss and your blog struck a cord with me. I can either be fat and sad or try and lose weight and be sad, but maybe I'll be happier when I'm doing what I know is best for my health. I have to stop obsessing over the scale and give my body a chance to respond to a new healthier lifestyle.

Thanks for the encouragement.

Hugs

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MICHELLE_391 7/23/2012 9:24PM

    Please keep up with us here at the Spark! I love to read your blogs. You CAN do this!

emoticon

I'm right here behind you cheering you on emoticon

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MOMMY2GIRLS 7/23/2012 8:55PM

    emoticon

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NELLBELLA26 7/23/2012 5:12PM

    Great blog! You can do it. You have the tools and the support! I love your blogs, keep writing. It will help you deal with those feelings that sometimes cause those setbacks.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LBWINT1 7/23/2012 4:13PM

    I'm glad you are back, I missed your blogs. I recently had a set back and am back on track today so it was cool to read your blog today too. emoticon

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AMBER281 7/23/2012 11:39AM

    Great blog!!
You can do it!

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DEBK0923 7/23/2012 11:12AM

    a wonderful post, great job

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GRATEFUL_BEING 7/22/2012 4:49PM

    I am turning my recent setback into a comeback too. I keep forgetting this is forever. emoticon

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EMILYDOODLE 7/22/2012 12:07PM

  you can do it, one step at a time!

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DIDMIS 7/21/2012 10:19PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BRENDABEEMAN 7/21/2012 10:02PM

  WE can do this! I with you there. Keep up the great attitude. I definately needed this today. thanks. emoticon

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LESSISMORE2010 7/21/2012 2:19PM

    I love the last image you posted. You've got this!

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APOINDEXTER3 7/21/2012 12:00AM

  U can add me if u like on myfitnesspal , journeyon2013

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JMORRIS85 7/20/2012 11:57PM

    The past is in the past. Don't beat yourself up. Pick yourself up and move on. No one is perfect. We all have slip ups and just need to use them as learning experiences. emoticon

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HIGHNOON 7/20/2012 10:57PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon

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TRAVELGRRL 7/20/2012 8:39PM

    Your determination is great. Thanks for writing a blog that many of us can relate to. Love it; you'll make your goals!

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WANT2BHEALTHY60 7/20/2012 7:15PM

    I´ve just gotten back into Spark again after taking a weight loss/ healthy lifestye vacation. However yesterday I began to record my food intake again and today my excercise. You can do it too. I think most of us have gone through setbacks...but... we´re still here and trying...WE WILL SUCCEED

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SUSIEMT 7/20/2012 6:47PM

    Michelle! I do know what you are going through! I had gone from 325 to 150 lbs. Then last Christmas I gained back 15 lbs myself. I have been having a tough time but am currently 160. I would be so lost without Sparkpeople. I know you will have continued success! Get that plan and stick with it! When you need help ask for it! Remember the panic thread! Good luck Michelle!:)

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THE_NEW_MELISSA 7/20/2012 5:56PM

    It's not how far you fall, it's how high you bounce!

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JIBBIE49 7/20/2012 5:36PM

    emoticon What an honor to have your blog featured in the Spark Mail. Sparks claims that the mail is read by one and a half million readers, so you are a GREAT inspiration to many today. emoticon

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MRSMEADOWS8118 7/20/2012 4:07PM

    Hi.

I tried MFP for a while and found that whilst the food was better for me (more UK items than here) the site itself etc wasn't as good. Here you get much more, like articles etc. Though, I did notice that there I have many more friends for motivation and support.

Good luck.

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FIREFLY_MEDIC 7/20/2012 2:45PM

    you can do it :)

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LOVE7755 7/20/2012 2:33PM

    You can do it. You have gotten up,brush your shoulders off and making a step in the right direction.

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GBAUM0432 7/20/2012 1:56PM

  emoticon

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RMARSH07 7/20/2012 1:25PM

  You can do this! Hang in there and forgive yourself.

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HHB4181 7/20/2012 12:43PM

    emoticon

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STRUMERCAT 7/20/2012 12:28PM

    “It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
...
who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and
who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
--Theodore Roosevelt, Sorbonne 1910


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MEGSMILEY 7/20/2012 12:06PM

    Hang in there!
We all need a fresh start periodically!
You can do it!
:)

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RSPORTS-C 7/20/2012 11:46AM

  Pick up a copy of Tosca Reno's Eat Clean Diet Stripped. It's not your same old and is not a diet plan. It's a beautiful, well written book that you can open up at any page and start reading. Not a cover to cover that you feel overwhelmed like some others. It will truly change your life. Not a diet.....just life changing. Best of luck...you will succeed!!!

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MBOART 7/20/2012 11:37AM

    emoticon Been there done that..Keep the positive mindset that you have today and it will happen!

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