Tuesday, July 17, 2012
I haven't blogged in what seems like forever. This last week before vacation is really taking a tool on me. I'm starting to get into vacation mode and everything at work is just irritating the hell out of me! Not that it didn't before, but it's even worse now. Actually it's just EVERYTHING in general... I don't know. I'm just really unsure about a lot of things right now, and vacation is exactly what I need to clear my head. I really am trying not to let everything get to me, but I was so pissed yesterday if it hadn't been for the fact I was sitting at work... I probably would have burst into tears. That place and the people are not even worth a tear, but that's how frustrated I am lately! Someone at work mentioned in front of a manager that I hardly ever do anything at work. That I sit and play on the internet all night, and its not that hard to put some papers in folders. That is not at all what I do. Not saying I don't get on the internet at all, but I do so AFTER all my work is done there. I work extremely hard, more than most people would in my job position. I probably care too much about EVERYTHING that I do. I always have, and it actually hurts that people think I don't do my job. That couldn't be further from the truth. The manager actually stood up for me, as surprising as that may seem! He told him that I actually do more than he thinks. That no matter how easy it may or may not be that it's mind numbing and tedious what I do, and by far that was the worst part of my job. WOW! Finally someone that even pretends to understand. Whether he actually understands or not, that was the most truthful thing I've heard out of anyone's mouth there in a LONG time. I know it's going to raise holy hell, but I'm sticking to my guns about not coming in early Thursday and Friday. I didn't go to my first job yesterday because I wanted to see my mom before I left for vacation, so I need to make sure I work the hours I'm supposed to here this week. They are just going to have to get over it! My boss keeps asking me about it. I know she is trying to guilt me in to doing it, but I'm not giving in. I don't owe her anything for taking a vacation. I deserve a f@#$ing vacation for all that I deal with on a daily basis, and plus working two jobs. I need a F@!#ING break from everything!
I haven't even been focusing on my sparking, exercising, eating, and drinking water lately. I know that's not a good idea, but I just need a break from EVERYTHING for a minute! I'll pick everything back up AFTER vacation. There won't be that much damage to undo... if anything at all. I will have MORE than enough time to still reach my goals by the end of the year, and everything will be good. It may even give me a clearer head afterwards to really make strides in reaching my goals. I still have good principals stuck in my mind, and I just have to know that I can make good choices without tracking.
I may or may not be blogging again before vacation... it all really depends on my mood. So if I don't I'll see you all after vacation with an update!! : ))))