A promise to my son...and to myself..
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
WOW! The past year has been life changing!
I had a baby..and he is my EVERYTHING! But that isn't the reason I gained back a little over 50 of the 90 pounds that I lost. If I am being honest with myself, it started happening before I got pregnant. I was headed down that road anyway and in fact, I gained 20 back before I even concieved. I just got SO burnt out on everything! But Nikolai is 5 months old and I have done nothing to change it. NONE of my clothes fit and my maternity clothes are even getting too tight. I am ashamed to look in the mirror. I am afraid that if I don't do something, Nikolai may be ashamed of me when he gets older. Or worse, he may follow in my footsteps!
I have gallstones and let me tell you, the pain is worse than childbirth! (okay maybe not worse, but comparable) I am not all about getting an organ removed, so my husband found a cleanse that supposedly works. So tomorrow I eat light to kick it off and then for 3 days I cleanse which involves ingesting only certain fluids. Then I gradually start ingesting solid foods. I am very excited for this. It is going to jumpstart me back into the lifestyle that I so drastically moved away from about a year and a half ago.
I want to be me again. I want my self confidence back. I want to show my son the best possible side of myself that I can. I want to be everything for him, because he deserves nothing less. And so do I.