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This Past Week

Monday, July 16, 2012

I was able to hit ONEDERLAND! I also got some optimistic news from my new hematologist. Then you add to the mix Alanís daughter is going to be living with us soon. Youíd think I was on cloud 9 right now!! Eh, not so much. Yeah I was excited on Thursday when I saw that number on the scale. I was excited that afternoon when the doctor told me, ďKristina thereís no reason why you should be on blood thinners the rest of your life.Ē Yet, I hardly exercised and my food choices werenít that great.

Yeah I know what youíre thinking ďEveryone has bad days or weeks. Pick yourself up and move forward.Ē Yeah, I know I need to take some of my own advice. I just donít know what my deal is. I feel like Iím neglecting things right now and I honestly donít know why Iím feeling that way. Iím just a hot confusing mess right now, LOL.

Oh, then how could I forget weíre getting ready to leave for Vegas on Thursday. I get to see Garth Brooks on Friday night! Iíve wanted to see him ever since I was very young. I think its maybe because Iím so overwhelmed with so much happy stuff I just canít process it all. Who knowsÖ Maybe Iím just losing my mind.

Iím freaking out a tad because Iím going to have to figure out eating while in Vegas. Iíve looked over menus for the restaurants at our hotel and I have a rough idea of what Iím going to do. Part of me just wants to say screw it and not even worry about it. Then the other part of me is like ďARE YOU KIDDING?!?!?Ē I know I need to watch what Iím doing or before Iíll know it Iíll see that damn 200 on the scale again. I hate that when I want to enjoy something I always have to stop and think about food options. Sometimes Iím really good at it and other times I just want to throw a temper tantrum like a little kid, kicking and screaming and not want to do the ďrightĒ thing.

No point to the blog. Iím just writing down all the ramblings going through my head.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hope this doesn't sound silly, but ever since losing my husband I get nervous and "act out" when things go really right. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was in Heaven with my late husband and had just said how I felt happy for the first time in my life and was content with exactly where I was. It's as if I'm afraid of saying that out loud again because it may trigger another tragedy.

    I keep moving forward and am working hard to live in the moment, but still struggle with this.

    Ring any bells for you?

    Anyway, hang in there and remember that it's the journey and not the destination. Small setbacks will not ruin you if you stay strong over time.

    My best to you!
    1543 days ago
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