Sunday, July 15, 2012
The hospital I am currently a guest in is under construction. Yesterday the nurse came into my room and told us that we could not use the sinks, toilets or even drink the drinking water. They were not sure when the problem would be resolved and were not told what exactly happened.
A moment later another nurse brought in some blue bags with kitty litter-like crystals, and told me that I would need to 'go' in the bags which would be placed on commode chairs to avoid the toilet water. Hmm Ok fine. What could I do, freak out? I told my nurse that of course this meant that I instantly had to tinkle, but was not ready to deal with the bag thing just yet.
The staff were busy trying to alert everyone and went off to the other rooms. I'm sure this was no fun for the them!
I swear I could literally hear my husband start to stress a second later. He stood up. He paced. He said he would need to leave the hospital soon since he might need to pee and didn't want to go in a blue bag over the toilet. "Take me with you!" I joked.
I reminded him nicely that his predicament was much easier for a man. And I was the one who currently could not walk unassisted + had an epidural in my back and an IV in an arm - so it might be a bit more humiliating for me. But it could be worse right? So then I started to think of HOW it could be worse as the 'potty train' of commode chairs were being pushed down the hospital hallways.
What if all of the patients had just taken a laxative?
What if the hospital had a chili cook off?
Perhaps the fact that I had already been telling myself to pretend that I have been camping since last week to deal with my lack of real shower or clean hair helped.
I've gotten to know a few of the nurses a wee bit (ha ha 'wee'), and was joking about the hospital version of Soul Train we had going on in the hallways with the commodes. If the patients all hit their Call buttons then the hallway would light up like a disco! Woohoo its a Potty Train!
The nurse let out a loud guffaw and then told me that he was trying to get one of the nurses to wear a diaper under their uniform to add some humor to the situation. Ha! Sadly no one agreed to it. Boo : (
You know, it was barely more than an hour before we got the all clear to run the faucets and use the facilities, but you could literally hear the sighs of relief from the nursing staff, patients and their visitors throughout the facility.
Well I guess I can find humor in the strangest of circumstances eh?