Saturday, July 14, 2012
I'm tired. I'm tired in every possible way for a person to be tired and I know that it effected my weight loss this week. I did clock in more time than my SparkPeople fitness thing suggests but I know that I was capable of more. I could have been better and I just didn't. I think stress is getting to me. They cut my hours back about a month ago and considering I was paycheck to paycheck before, now I'm not even treading water. I've sent out so many applications that I think I'm starting to hit the same ones twice. I even signed up with a temp agency. They got me an interview next week, which is fantastic but I'm not the only applicant the agency is sending over.
I need this. Not just because of the money but because the place I'm working for now is draining the life out of me. Every day I come to work I feel like I'm compromising my morals. I was lied to and screwed over by a proprietary school (AKA diploma mill) and now I work at one where I'm aiding in screwing other people over. In my defense, when I first took the job I didn't know that I would be a harbinger of evil. I thought it was just the school that I went to. I didn't realize that most For-Profit schools were created equal. Well, I do now and it makes me sick. Every time I meet a prospective student, especially someone I like, I just want to tell them to run. Go to a different school. Go down the street to the community college where the same degree costs 1/5 of what we will charge. We boast a better, hands-on learning experience where each student gets personal attention. It's crap. We meet all the same state requirements as those community colleges. In fact, being regionally accredited while we are only nationally accreditted means that our credits aren't likely to transfer out so they are actually better. And the only reason the administration gives such "personal attention" is because they have to keep butts in the seats. Don't get me wrong. There are some people here that really care about these students but you almost have to detach yourself. Otherwise it eats you alive what we are doing to them. Almost every commercial or ad is geared toward low income families. We offer them a subpar education, push them out the door with a stupid peice of paper then they get the bill. $40,000 for a two year degree. Monthly student loan payments of something like $800/month and no garauntee they will get a job that could afford that. We keep poor people poor and convince them that we're doing them a favor. You just can't knowingly be part of something like that and not have it come back to bite you. I joke that we're all going to get cancer but I do worry about the karmic hit. Someday we're all going to have to pay for what we're doing. I just hope that the fact that it kills me and I don't do it happily will make a difference.