Saturday, July 14, 2012
Been off the grid for almost a month now.
Dad had emergency operation June 18th. 2 aneurysm repairs. Its a miracle at 91 years that he survived the surgery and he is getting stronger and stronger with each passing day. Sadly eating properly and/or exercising have not been my first priority and all I have lost since starting WW is 3 lbs :(
And yet, I keep buying clothes for a smaller me! What's wrong with me? I should be moving... exercising, cleaning, even making my bed in the morning... but all I want to do when I am at home is either drink or eat my fill and then go to sleep.
I am drinking far too much coffee in the day time and far too much wine in the evening
What happened to my self control? Okay. Let's be honest. Its a miracle that I have not gained weight! I work from 7:30-4pm; get home approx 4:45 giving me enough time to pack a bag and get in car & drive to nursing home for daily visit to dad (5:30-8:30); I get home about 9pm and warm up oven and eat an entire frozen pizza myself! I have done this more than once over the last month!
I am exhausted. I have not even had time to make bill payments or do any of dad's paperwork let alone take care of myself.... I literally roll out of bed in the morning, wash, dress, put my hair up in bun and run out door to catch train.
Believe now that I have caught a cold. A real concern as I do not want to pass anything on to my dad or other residents at the home.
But I digress, I cherish every moment that I spend with my dad. And thankfully I have my hubby's full support. Truly believe that dad's quality of life will be 100% better as a result and I am also learning not to worry :)
Starting to shift my focus again to my weight. I am actually turning 50 in a month and there is no way I will reach my weight loss goal in that time frame.
Okay, I really want to get my house in order and establish a eating and exercise routine. And most importantly learn to make time & take care of myself!
I think that will be the best b-day present I can give myself!
I guess the question is...
Do I think I am worth it? Do I believe in myself or have I tossed in the towel?
Hubby has already planned tomorrow's meals... yes, he has had to fend for himself in the kitchen for quite some time now.... Sausage & eggs for breakfast, cheddar cheese bagel with salmon cream cheese & toppings for lunch and rounding it off with hamburgers for dinner.
Okay.... I won't fret... baby steps...
I guess he can make my sandwich on toast vs bagel and I could skip the cream cheese and opt for tomato sandwich instead!