I've been feeling pretty lonely lately. School's back in, work is busy, and I'm working hard to fit in exercise every chance I get. So I'm not home much, and therefore not seeing my husband much. But it seemed deeper than that. Tonight I figured out why.

I was pretty much ignored as a child. My parents owned their own business, so weren't home much. After I was old enough to stay home alone, I was also on my own for dinner and chores. Whenever I tried to talk to my parents about anything, they were generally "too busy" to listen to what I had to say. Even if they weren't busy at all. I always felt unwanted.

My dad was very social and took part in many organizations. He rose to every occasion where help was needed. While he was never home and didn't participate in his family's life, he would work hard to bring much-needed support for children with disabilities. It was a struggle to be so proud of what he was doing and yet resent him for being absent in my life.

Through lots of counseling and arguments, we reached a truce. Over time, we developed a relationship. When I was 27, my father told me he loved me for the first time I could remember. I didn't know how to reply.

Since that time, we've grown closer and get together fairly regularly. All the old resentments faded - I had parents who loved me and wanted to spend time with me. So when a half-marathon I was doing fell on my dad's birthday, I seized the opportunity to do a father-daughter run. My dad agreed, since he had been a marathoner and wanted to get back into it.

Unfortunately, he didn't have enough spare time to train, and I developed a knee injury. My mom called to tell me my dad wasn't going to run with me, which was fine since I couldn't run. My dad and I decided to postpone the run until the next year...this year. We started making plans early on in the year so there would be enough time to train.

But just a couple weeks ago, my mom called to tell me that my dad had been too busy with his charity work and wasn't going to run with me. Disappointed, I had no choice but to say ok. I can't expect someone who hasn't been training to run 13.1 miles. But I realized tonight that it's bothering me a lot more than I originally thought.

All those feelings of being pushed aside and left behind for the sake of charity work came flooding back. Now I don't mean to diss my dad. He's doing great things, and he's a very driven person for a reason. He gave me a better life than he had, and showed me more affection than anyone ever showed him. So I know he's doing the best he can. But it still hurts, and I feel all alone.

Thanks for listening, SparkFriends. I know that getting these things down in writing helps me get past them. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day.