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    TRACYNOTGIVINUP   32,947
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Accomplishments & Lessons Learned That Are Making Me a FIGHTER.


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Friday, July 13, 2012

So, here I am just over one year on Spark people and I have a lot to say I have learned so much about myself and accomplished a lot in this time. I didn't expect to feel like this when I was at this point in my journey.

Accomplishment #1: Lost 106 pounds. With 20 pounds til I hit my goal weight.

Lesson Learned: It doesn't matter. I NEVER thought this was a possible feeling. I remember with WW, I was so focussed on that goal weight and hitting it, it seemed to be the end all be all over my journey. I learned this time around, that it is just what people have been telling me, a NUMBER. It is by no means a measurement in how far I have come and what I have done or where I have left to go. I thought that I would change my goal by now, since really me ending up weighing 160 pounds is still me being overweight, and I should weigh less, but I don't care anymore. I know that when I get there, I will be okay, if I still lose weight, I still lose weight, but it doesn't matter. I will be happy and healthy and physically fit. I am that right now. I have been telling people lately, if I were to find out that I couldn't lose anymore weight right now that would be okay with me, I feel amazing.

Lesson #2 Learned: Weight doesn't define me. I could have been this happy a year ago, but I wasn't because I wasn't doing anything to make myself happy at all. I had no clue what made me happy. If you asked me a year ago who I was or what I was or what I enjoyed doing, I couldn't have answered you wtih more than the mother to my kids and wife to my husband. I am emerging into a whole 'new' person, though that isn't really true either. I have always been this person. I am seeing now that my life is something to be goal driven with wants and desires. I want to find new things to do, I want to have goals. My attitude towards myself and others is what defines me and how I live each day is what makes me who I am. Each choice I make will help me develope as a person towards what I am trying to achieve. Today if you asked me what I am, I have a lot of answers. Now, I am seing who I am. I am person who enjoys taking the time to treat myself right, which in turn makes me be able to treat others even better. I am a mom and wife who is trying to lead the way to a healthier lifestyle for her family, but still making sure that I have my own time to come first. I am a friend who loves that my friends are being inspired by me in small and big ways. I am someone who loves to help people and feels like I am able to talk about experiences I am having because I am no longer living my life sitting as a watcher, I am doing. I am a daughter who is learning to forgive my parents for their faults and get passed them and learn that they have their own choices to make and lives to live and living in the past isn't going to help me in anyway. It is over.

Accomplishment #2: Finishing a 5K. I have done this many times now since I started running. I am just going to commit to that term, I am a runner. I am not the fastest and furthest runner, but gosh darn it I am one. I truely love it and look forward to my running days. It is funny how I used to wake up dreading whatever exercise I had planned for the day. I would have woken up thinking, UGH today I have to run.....I wake up thinking Ugh today is NOT a running day, and it makes me wish it was a running day.

Lesson Learned: I can do anything. I never, ever imagined that I would be able to finish that 5k running, ever. I thought that I was doing that in the fall. I had dreamed of it and thought about it, but didn't put it in my realistic thoughts, but it should have been. I am never going to say I can't do something again. I am going to try new things and different things and continue to challenge myself. If is sounds like something I am going to enjoy, I am going to TRY. I may or may not like it, for whatever reasons, but I will try it. I learned if my mind has put a block or cap on my abilities, I can't grow past them. No more.

Accomplishment #3: I am overcoming my emotional eating. This is something that just hit me. The past few months when I have been stressed, I haven't turned to food. Not only have I not turned to the food, I haven't even thought about the food. I wish I had all the answers to this one, but I don't. I don't know what clicked in me to make me switch the switch. But it has happened. Is this forever, I don't know and I am not saying yes or no. I need to be aware of it, but I KNOW there is a change in my issues with food in this aspect and I am just going to go with it.

Lesson Learned: You don't need to be married to a term. I am a emotional overeater. Maybe in the past this is what hurt me was giving myself the label? I thought it was my excuse. I didn't get when people would tell me to go do other things because I would try, but still be focussed thought wise on the food. Now I seem to think a lot clearer about this. It is funny since when I do think about my stress, my first thought is to exercise. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I just sit there and do jumping jacks or squats or chase Samuel around the house. I never thought my life would come to those thoughts as well.


These lessons I have learned are key to me right now. I think the this is how I KNOW I am going to continue to succeed in my life and I don't mean with the weight loss that I still have to do. I mean with life. Life is not about losing weight, it is about living it and maybe losing the weight is one way to start that, that is fine, but along the way I have learned so much about myself that I never dreamed of. I never knew my life would be so clear and focussed. I can't ever begin to tell people how happy I am, but as soon as they ask and I answer with yes, it doesn't seem enough, but once I start talking about things in my life, I am sure that they can sense it. It is impossible not to.

When I run my favorite song to listen to is "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera, it is my song, it defines me to a T. Without my old heavier self I couldn't have become the person I am today and will become for the rest of my life. I needed to be that person to be this person.

"You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through.
So I want to say thank you
Cause it makes me that much stronger,
Makes me work a little bit harder,
It makes me that much wiser,
So thanks for making me a fighter.
Made me learn a little bit faster,
Made my skin a little bit thicker,
Makes me that much smarter,
So thanks for making me a fighter."

Fighter by Christina Aguilera

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOANNHUNT 12/27/2012 12:39AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHUM48 10/13/2012 2:12PM

    Congratulations! Thanks for you words that make us look into our own spirits and see where we are at! Thanks again

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LISA_FRAME 8/21/2012 7:47PM

  Great post

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NELLBELLA26 8/8/2012 10:39PM

    I forgot how much I love that Aguilera song. Have to download it for my IPOD now. Great accomplishments and lessons learned along the way. Keep being the fighter that you know you are.
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EMILYDOODLE 7/29/2012 11:39PM

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WILSON1926 7/29/2012 7:40AM

    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
YOU LOOK GREAT

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MANILUS 7/20/2012 5:26PM

    I love this piece of writing, You have learned so much and you are "a fighter"! Keep up the great work and keep enjoying the journey!!!

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PHEFEY 7/19/2012 2:42PM

    I never thought about the lyrics to that song before but you are so right! I'm going to be listening to that a lot more!
Thanks for the thoughts!

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BINDERIMA1 7/19/2012 9:44AM

  Congratulations!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/18/2012 12:39PM

    Tracey, HOW did I miss this blog?!? You are so awesome, and I"m SO incredibly happy for you! *HUGS* You've done an amazing job and making it to your goal will just be another # on your accomplishment list. Way to go mama!

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OLIVIANIGHT 7/18/2012 7:18AM

    Thanks for sharing that, I'm still on my way and just starting to learn most of those things.

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GAZAGIRL29 7/17/2012 9:15PM

    Congrats on your success and thank you so much for sharing your lessons learned with me! It is a great reminder of what this JOURNEY is about...Thanks again!

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CAROL494 7/17/2012 7:39PM

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4RASCALS 7/17/2012 6:52PM

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Congrats on your success. Keep moving forward. Love your attitude

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NYMORNINGGLORY 7/17/2012 4:42PM

    Thanks for sharing these insights .... it's amazing to see your progress. Congrats on such a wonderful year and all the best as you continue moving forward ... emoticon

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LITTLEROX20 7/17/2012 3:21PM

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HAPPY0408 7/17/2012 11:41AM

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DOBSONSM 7/17/2012 8:56AM

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MARGARITTM 7/17/2012 5:47AM

    Wonderful blog. Thanks

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LBLYKOWSKI 7/17/2012 2:29AM

    Wow what a journey and thank you for sharing. I am just learning lesson #2.... for years I have been tied to that number on the scale. It's just not worth defining myself by. I would prefer to define myself by my accomplishments because that's not only me but who I want to be... not who I am not. Thanks again!

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GBAUM0432 7/16/2012 5:03PM

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TERRIJ7 7/16/2012 4:48PM

    I love the lessons you've shared and I have shared the link to your blog with some other Spark friends.

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PTOUCHET63 7/16/2012 4:38PM

  This was a wonderful and heartfelt blog. Thank you so much for sharing

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ADEWYN 7/16/2012 1:00PM

    emoticon your awesome!! emoticon

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HHB4181 7/16/2012 11:33AM

    Great blog! Congrats on all of your success!

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NIGHTOCUPS 7/16/2012 10:07AM

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BRAVENEWGRL 7/16/2012 10:01AM

    Great blog!

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DEB_LEA 7/16/2012 9:10AM

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BLOOMING52 7/16/2012 1:16AM

    Way to go!

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SLFGOLF 7/16/2012 1:00AM

    Congratulations on all your accomplishments. You have achieved so much in a year.

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BRAVOLISA7 7/15/2012 11:32PM

    Congratulations on your accomplishments! Thanks for sharing everything you have learned. emoticon

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KNEEMAKER 7/15/2012 11:06PM

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CUINPARADISE 7/15/2012 10:38PM

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SP_COACH_NANCY 7/15/2012 9:35PM

  CONGRATS!!!

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SUGARBEACHES 7/15/2012 8:56PM

    AWESOME!!!!

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THEIS58 7/15/2012 8:30PM

    Awesome!

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CROWLEY123 7/15/2012 8:07PM

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You certainly have come a long way, and you should be very proud of your growth!

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GBAUM0432 7/15/2012 7:54PM

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MTRACHEL 7/15/2012 6:59PM

    I loved reading about your year and appreciate all of your insight. Isn't it great to be a runner? It changed my life...and what a great reminder to me to Run Your Own Race!

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KRISTA4REAL 7/15/2012 6:44PM

    Congrats on all your accomplishments! I hope to be where you are 1 year from now:) Thanks for the inspiration emoticon

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MOJIMAK 7/15/2012 6:21PM

    Wow! Very inspiring and eye-opening. I really love how you have analyzed what losing weight has done for you and what it has meant to you. Thanks for sharing :-)

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ANGELBABIES2 7/15/2012 5:37PM

    Thank you for sharing keep.spreading the spark

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AATKIN01 7/15/2012 4:44PM

    very inspiring. thanks for sharing your lessons. emoticon emoticon

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DVIRGADAM 7/15/2012 3:57PM

    I am very happy for you for being able to achieve everything that you have accomplished. It is a very rewarding feeling to be able to achieve your dreams, and I feel very inspired by your success! Good luck and keep moving!! emoticon emoticon

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GUCCI9300 7/15/2012 3:48PM

    Thank you for the inspiration emoticon

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CHOCOHOLIC4LIFE 7/15/2012 3:43PM

    What a motivating blog post, thank you! I'm feeling recharged with motivation for Monday after reading this.

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OCLIAO 7/15/2012 3:22PM

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LORTHOM2001 7/15/2012 3:17PM

    wow kudos to you

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LUCINDARW 7/15/2012 2:19PM

    Thanks for sharing your year with us you have come along way! Keep up the good work! Lucinda

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JENKAY76 7/15/2012 1:59PM

    Congratulations! I too find myself being an emotional eater. Hopefully I can someday also break that cycle.

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