New Plan, gonna show off my muscle (soon)

Friday, July 13, 2012

SO my session with the personal trainer was wonderful. Although it was only a free 30 min session she gave me a lot of great exercises to do at home! First I am using too heavy weights! I thought I was a beast, but when I lift (since I dont have someone to tell me im doing it wrong) I am doing it too fast. So my new motto: Faster is not better! I came away with a bunch of new body weight exercise to help strengthen my core since the ones I was doing were not working. Also, I need 2 rest days a week (thank god, i was dying of exhaustion waking so early to do the 1.5 hr workouts and not feeling like I was getting anywhere) and my routine shouldnt really take me longer than 30 min (1 hour max with cardio). I tols her my specific goals body wise were to show the definition in the muscle I built by losing the last 10-15 lbs, so her advice is based on that. Her tips will help me maintain the muscle while dropping the fat :). I am super excited.

Also, we talked about food. And big surprise, she is a Food addict also. We really talked about abstinence and recovery which I think is key for me. I know everyone who says "eventually you will be able to eat in moderation" means well but if i am really honest with myself I know I will always struggle. The big part for myself, being honest. I keep trying to talk myself into believing I can be normal with food, I will be able to have just one bite, one day I can just have a little. Nope, honestly I cannot. food is my drug. Most people surronding me will never comprehend the mental torture I put myself through with regards to food. I talk myself into/out of eating constantly, then deal with mental guilt, then binge, then physical torture. I just need serenity and acceptance inside myself. I am not normal, and thats ok!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My dearie, who wants to be normal anyway?? I know there are some foods which will always be off limits for me as well. There is just too much emotion attached. It's like someone having an illicit affair... they know it's wrong, they know they'll feel guilt and shame and self-loathing and that there will be consequences eventually, but the brief pleasure, that tiny thrill that goes with the encounter... that's what they're addicted to. So it is with me and food. Some things I can eat in moderation, others I am afraid to even have around.

    I'm excited about your new workout! I'm glad it will be more time-efficient for you (most important with those girls!). I'm determined to get back on track with mine. Maybe we can both post progress pics!!
    2080 days ago
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