It's been a year now that I've been Sparking. I started out with the big idea of just getting the weight off but also in the back of my mind I kept telling myself that I wanted it to be different this time. I wanted the weight off as soon as possible but also wanted to learn more about maintainance. Well, it's like all those other big plans of our own with preconceived notions; it didn't turn out as I thought or thought I planned. LOL
I did lose 40 lbs in the first 7 months with trouble in month four. But I held on for the wild ride and did not quit. I kept Sparking and tracking off and on then managed to refocus and move forward. I even made it through a Las Vegas vacation and the holidays!
What happened at the turn of the new year is still beyond me. How and why did I begin a downward spiral when I had it sooooo together? I fought for months, jan, feb, mar, apr and may gaining 15 lbs. but I never quit Sparking. I kept referring back to the site for inspiration, motivation, and information.
One thing that I have done consistently for over a year now is EXERCISE. There were times when I went into self sabotage mode and questioned why I should keep exercising if I was just going to keep going back to junk and comfort food? But I kept moving and I think maybe that's what brought me back into better eating. I never completely quit tracking. I must say tracking food is a necessary tool for me. So, I tell myself, "Keep doing what you are doing - exercise regularly a not rigidly."
My body composition and shape are a NSV. I weigh more than I'd like too but my muscles are firmer and stronger and some of the fat rolls are very much decreased.
And there are some days I feel so lean and strong and still others I feel fat and frumpy. But those are feelings I have to deal with and cannot dictate my food and exercise choices/habits.
I am an emotional eater and learning how to manage coping strategies. That has been the major hurdle in this journey. Tracking food and exercise is the easy part. But I am learning and Sparking is a really big part of that learning process. reading stories and comments of other Sparkers has been so helpful. Thank you all for your bravery and sincerity.
I will be honest. I want the weight gone NOW! But in all honesty, I know that is not realistic for me. This is a process that I have to manage but cannot expect it to always go the way I plan. But I cannot quit. I will keep Sparking and keep learning and keep losing until ....
I put these thoughts down for self reflection but hope that someone can find something useful for their own Spark journey to better health and happiness as I have here at Sparkpeople. Again thank you to all fellow Sparkers for sharing. Keep in touch.