Wednesday, July 11, 2012
There are some days when I feel like life is pretty dang good.
Then there are some days when I feel like there are some really sucky things going on, but I am still blessed with a lot.
Then there are some days when I feel like nothing in my life is where I want it to be or how it needs to be and I just do not know what to do. These days mostly come when I am having bad health days. Migraines, fibromyalgia flare-ups, osteoarthritis, degenerative disc disease in my lower back, IBS, chronic fatigue, it is like the list never ends.
And some days it feels like the stress and anxiety and pain will do me in. When I cannot get up to exercise. When yoga or stretching in bed feels like excruciating pain as if I am being stabbed. When my stomach won't stop spasming for no reason. When my head feels like it is in a vice and throbbing and it hurts so much it makes me nauseous. THESE are the days when I want to just call it a life and be done with it.
Not that I am contemplating ending my life by any means. But people with chronic pain will tell you probably this same thing: that some days it is so bad that you would almost rather have cancer so at least there was an end in site- you recover or you die, but there is an end to it. When you know you will suffer every day for the rest of your life it can be depressing. as. hell. No doubt.
So I try very hard to keep in contact with others who struggle and I surround myself with positive, uplifting, optimistic people as much as possible (family is totally excluded from this unfortunately.) My friends and boyfriend totally rock though. They help me so much. I try to find the good parts in my day or in my life.
So I want to share a little of a gratitude journal today as a reminder that while the pain may be disabling and not allowing me to exercise or do everything I want to do, that things could be worse and things are not bad in every aspect of my life.
TODAY I AM GRATEFUL FOR:
1. Being able to run errands today that I have not been able to accomplish for the past month.
2. Lightly scented candles and bubble bath for a relaxing soak.
3. A book about massage to self-teach about easing my migraine pain. I think it is related to TMJ.
4. Good songs on the radio today.
5. A phone call with a friend I have not seen in a while and a tentative date to have dinner with friends tomorrow night.
6. My library books on hold came through yesterday and I am loving reading them.
What are you grateful for today?