Wednesday, July 11, 2012
I'm done with my life in general I've come to the conclusion I can't win. I was fat and wanted to be smaller and keep my curves , I got smaller and I hate it now I have no butt no hips no nothing. Everyday I wake up my family puts me down. Before I was too fat and sloppy. Now I'm not curvy like I was before according to them. Today my uncle did the last straw he said " I look anorexic, I look like a little child indtead of a young lady" I'm officially done. This is not about pleasing other people. I am unhappy with myself. I stare in the mirror for hours upon hours as if I will change I try to find positive things but the bad outweighs the good. I am just overall unhappy with myself, I have no support and I don't understand why I am here. I don't go outside anymore, I'm too ashamed. I know this sounds like a case of BDD but its not. Its not "imagined flaws" other people CAN see them, they always point them out I'm over this life. No one will miss me, no one loves me and I just feel pointless. I have things going for myself...in the future which as of now I don't want to wait for. With this being said I'm done. Sorry if this is just negative and I'm being a negative nancy but I have always been an honest person and honestly for the first time in my life I want to die I am tired of trying. I am TIRED. So I will rest in peace forever.