I love writing in journals. Perhaps because I am an only child, writing thoughts on paper is my way of conversing with myself without looking like a lunatic. Blogging is similar, but no longer talking solely to myself.
It's fascinating to travel back in time to see what I was thinking way back when.
Except my teenage journals. That's full of embarrassing drivel about some guy I liked, we passed notes, what did the smiley face at the end mean, did he like me, I think I liked him, and should I let him know (for the record, no, I didn't). Anne Frank diaries they were not. I grimaced at the thought that if I ever have children/grandchildren, they might find this, anticipating pearls of wisdom from grannie, and being utterly disappointed. I saved them the dishonor and quietly discarded the evidence.
On the other end of the spectrum, my journals from college were fascinating. I was quite the philosopher, as we all are at that age, I suppose.
...and then it descended into embarrassing drivel about a boyfriend. That boyfriend was so bad, I nearly gagged at how I positively beamed in my descriptions. I removed those sections and discarded them. I kept my philosophical musings. Now children and grandchildren would have to speculate on the missing pages. What secret was grandma hiding? Was there a hidden family fortune? Did grannie know who really shot Kennedy? No kids, grannie was hiding the evidence of yet another stupid boyfriend.
I went through my old Spark blogs tonight because I was looking for something I thought I wrote. I didn't find what I was looking for because I got caught up in remembering other stories. One of the surprising revelations: this month is my 5 year Sparkiversary.
I've been a member of Spark since July 3, 2007 . My first entry in August 2007 is pretty interesting. I blogged about how my rice noodle lunch left me hungry, and I vaguely had an understanding that protein might somehow help this.
My next entries aren't until November 2009. Not sure what motivated me to start writing, but it seemed I was a whirlwind. Like some kind of dietary confessional, I had to tell the story of where my weight came from.
In subsequent years, I blogged about constantly battling with my weight. I'd lose, only to regain. I told tales of losing and regaining the same 5 lbs over and over. I found tales of gaining weight over the holidays and being downtrodden.
In January 2010, I was so close to the answer I sought. I blogged about insulin, and its effect on blood sugar in even non diabetics like myself. Except I needed to take it a step further. I suppose I wasn't ready then.
I blogged about a friend's success with a low carb diet, and I wrote a rather dismissive response. I claimed that I could never give up mashed potatoes at dinner. Well, if one has to eat their own words, it's tastier if it's about food.
I found a blog that described my lean body mass when I weighed 160lbs as ~92lbs, which is exactly what it is now. Except I had 44% bodyfat then and now I have 28%. We all have killer abs underneath our fat suits, we just can't see them. I'm still working on finding mine.
I describe my discoveries with low carb and paleo. The message of these blogs written with the purpose of hoping to inspire the hopeless. If I could find a way, then anyone can. That the hungry can be well fed, and still lose weight. If diet got you into a metabolic mess, then diet can get you out. No matter what diet paradigm you chose, it requires discipline, perseverance, dedication, and commitment to the lifestyle.
I wonder what my stories this year will be...