Tuesday, July 10, 2012
For the past two years, I've been blogging about the little nagging voices in my head, my progress or lack thereof, my changing attitude, and many other things. They all seemed to have an air of negativity followed by an empowering thought in common - I'm not good enough (yes I am), I can't do this (yes I can), I screwed up (I can fix it). It's like my blogs were the voices of the angel and devil that sit on either shoulder.
For the past week, there's been no nagging voice. No silent put-downs, no second-guessing. No internal screaming for junk food, no inward pouting about being different. Nothing but wake up, exercise, eat, go to work, eat, go to school/gym, eat, do stuff around the house, sleep.
No mental anguish. None. Nada. Zip.
Last night I went to bed late. I made a decision to stay up. The consequences were either wake up on time and get my bike ride in and be crabby, or get enough sleep so I can function and do a makeup exercise session as soon as I could. I chose to sleep. And I'm good with that choice! I didn't dwell on it all day. I didn't use it as an excuse to eat french fries or cake. I did my job, went to school, and then went for a walk when I got home.
Could it be the little devil has given up? Have I made enough progress that this new way of life is truly (GASP!) now a way of life?
Time will tell, dear SparkFriends. In the meantime, I will enjoy the peace and quiet in my head.