On Sunday I was at a BBQ at my husband's aunt's house. After much deliberation about what to wear, I finally put on the one pair of shorts I have that I can still button up (size 13) - they were very snug but I figured looked better than the elastic waist yoga pants I practically live in. When we arrived, I sat down in a lawn chair and was so uncomfortable. My stomach was pushing hard on the waistband of the shorts and I was very aware of the roll of fat it made. I kept adjusting my top, trying to conseal that roll of fat. As if the shirt could really do anything to hide it. I tried using my purse as a shield for a while but it just didn't work. Looking around the table, everyone else looked relaxed and comfortable ad I was dying. I just wanted to get those damn shorts off. I was just completely and utterly miserable and disgusted with myself.

I never want to feel like that again.