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So...some stuff happened...

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Have I mentioned recently how utterly unbelievable it is to me that I've been so ridiculously crazy busy even though I'm still unemployed?

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Which gives me pause wondering how I'll ever survive all this with work on top of it. HOWEVER, I expect the discipline of a regular schedule would lead to more organization which would then lead to better productivity, so it'll all work out. But at the moment, it totally seems like some kind of fairy tale world that I just can't conceive how to make happen.

I'll get there.

In the meantime...

* Oldest son moved out of dad's house and over to the east side with his brother and brother's mate. Brother has gotten a job (YAY!), the other two are still searching (and having to make difficult decisions regarding activities and what they can afford).

* Helped the younger son's ladylove navigate the nightmare that is obstetrics in this country and determine that yes, dammit, she's having a home birth and has hired the midwife we interviewed a few weeks ago, first official appointment is this Friday.

* Daughter I placed for adoption got married on June 30th, and I was able to send her and her new husband gift cards and a card signed by all her half-sibs. She's contemplating a visit to meet us all sometime in the future (when she's better, she's dealing with ulcerative colitis but just started seeing a new doctor, so is hopeful she'll be feeling better soon).
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* The OTHER daughter is now in full-on "training for life" classes with mom over here, as her dad is going to lose his house and being the only one left living at home, she needs to NOT depend on him to get this figured out (particularly since he's doing what he usually does, and is burying himself in WoW so he doesn't have to face reality). I've been teaching her how to look for apartments, budget, get her taxes done (I had NO idea she'd never done them because no one had ever shown her how and she'd heard so many horror stories on how hard it is to do your taxes she was too intimidated to try), get the FAFSA filed (and determined I was right, she's eligible for a crap-ton of financial aid, including grants she won't have to pay back), and got her looking at Cincinnati State to eventually get her out of Kroger's and into a field with meaning. If we move FAST she could start in the fall. My personal ultimate scenario would be to have her and her "boyfriend" (in quotes because I don't really see a future there, but he's a nice guy and understands they're really just going to be roommates as a way to get themselves OUT of their parents' houses and off on their own, since neither of them can really afford it alone) in an apartment in my complex, so I can kind of watch out for them and will be easily available if they need help or advice. Plus she could ride to school with me. :) But we'll see how things go - probably putting in a rental application on Thursday this week, fingers crossed.

* And the exes are dealing with CPS (Child Protective Services) again. *facepalm* Which I wouldn't know about if my oldest heartson wasn't on facebook (which is AWESOME since I can talk to my kid whenever he's online without having to go through anybody else now...happy mom is happy). He hinted something was up, so I called to get more details. There is a hearing tomorrow, and I've rearranged some school stuff (will be missing chemistry lab, which sucks because there's no way to make it up but my kids come first) so I can be there. I have no idea if my presence will accomplish anything useful, but I want to at least establish that I have a stake (or at least an interest) in what's going on. (THIS is why I'm so excited about the proposed legislation in CA regarding having more than two legal parents...because right now, I've got NO legal rights and my hands are completely tied - I can't express how crazy-making that is or how utterly helpless I feel in these kinds of situations.)


So yeah, a lot going on in the extended family right now.

Things in MY world are absolutely stellar. I'm 3 weeks into my first (and last, since they're moving to semesters in August) term at Cincinnati State and LOVING IT! Right now I've got a solid A in all of my classes (though I'm going to have to work in Chemistry to keep it, since I'm missing that lab tomorrow). Two classes are online only, and that's been going pretty well (which means the online BSN program through Ohio University is a real possibility once I have my RN). I'm also pondering some other options (the Integrative Nutrition thingie that's been advertised all over Sparkpeople the last few days looks pretty interesting), and I need to get moving on my doula re-certification (found a mostly online option there as well that also has a Midwifery Assistant option I could do afterwards). Seriously, right now it feels like the whole world is opening up before me with possibilities.
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The only real frustration right now is the weight loss. Like yesterday - I had a PERFECT food day, and kicked my butt at the gym, and even had calories left in the evening for "date night"...and still ended up binging on nutella. *sighs* That stuff really is evil, ya know? (It's the one food I'm finding it best not to have in the house...I think I'll wait awhile before getting any more, having finished off the jar last night.) It's the bed-time snacking that's really killing me right now. I've managed to at least find lower calorie alcohol options that I like (hooray for Skinnygirl maragaritas!), but then I ruin it with ice cream or chocolate. *sighs* I tried a lower cal ice cream (ewwwww, it was awful), but honestly if I'm going to indulge, I want the real deal. Plus, I'm trying to "eat cleaner" (honest, MISSG180, I rarely use the little pink packets o' doom...I need to get those International creamer individual packs to use in coffee when we're out, 'cause that's all I use at home). I think the solution is a combination of intentional choices ("Do I REALLY want that right now, or can I wait? If I can wait, do I really need it at all?") and having tasty alternatives available. (Open to suggestions on tasty alternatives)

I'm also contemplating some fitness options right now. Having had 3 sessions with the personal trainer at my gym, I bought another package of 4 sessions (but that's all until I have employment - TRYING to be fiscally responsible, the 401K money can't last forever) - I REALLY enjoy having Jessica kick my a$$, and the variety is refreshing. That said, I haven't done much running in the past few weeks, mostly because it's been so beastly hot (even at the gym, they've been having issues with their AC, though I heard it's being replaced this week so hopefully THAT won't be an issue much longer). But there's also the fact that I don't love it. And I've been thinking I really need to find something I LOVE doing. I went to Zumba last week for the first time in months and had a blast. Jessica got me on the spinning bicycles last week and though my tailbone area complained the next day, I did NOT have any foot cramps (why I'd been reluctant to try it again after my initial orientation to spinning when I first joined the gym) so I think I'm going to try a full class soon. I've decided NOT to do the Akron Half in September because it's the same weekend as Midpoint Music Fest down here (and 'Yote has been SO cool about how involved I've been in all this fitness stuff, I want to support him in going to things that are important to HIM too), and I'm starting to wonder about the Warrior Dash. Part of me still REALLY wants to do it. And part of me is wondering if I can be ready for it by August since I haven't been running much. PLUS I'll likely be doing it alone (neither of my Blue Valkyries from last year can make it, and the kids can't afford it right now). And honestly? When we get back from Sirius Rising, it's full on job search mode for both of us. So I don't know if a trip that far north (and a probable hotel stay) is really financially responsible right now.

Meh.
Pondering is.

For NOW, I've got 4 more weeks of school, a camping trip next week (though we're only going up Thursday-Sunday so I'll only miss one day of classes), a visit from my buddy in Atlanta the 2nd weekend of August and then fall semester starts on August 29. There's stuff in September (like the Spark Rally in Chicago) and October that we want to do, but jobs come first before we can seriously contemplate anything else. I'm getting my resume together (particularly since I hadn't updated it since BEFORE The Split) and working it around for healthcare (since all of my background/experience is IT) so that I have all my ducks in a row once we get back from camp.

So here we go - on to the next adventure!


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITNHEALTHYKAL 8/15/2012 7:00AM

    My head is spinning just READING - BIBO (breathe in - breathe out) Your children are so lucky to have you! And you are in such an amazing place in so many aspects of your life right now you need to breathe and ENJOY IT! Take a step back and look at all of these stellar choices, choose what makes your heart sing, find a fitness option that you love and SOAR BABY SOAR!

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HEIDIWRITES 7/24/2012 6:33PM

    You're so inspirational. :D

I'm excited about the parent legislation in my home state (CA) too. For reasons you know well. It's awesome that you continue to be a solid presence in your heart children's lives. Obviously they need that stability.

I'm also dealing with two teen-cum-adult children who are learning to get their own places, find jobs, pay bills. My two oldest sons are living in a transitional house - they rent a room in a house with other college students. HOnestly, I think this age is tougher than the potty training ages!

Good luck with your classes!

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TEENY_BIKINI 7/22/2012 8:57PM

    "Seriously, right now it feels like the whole world is opening up before me with possibilities. "

Wow. That is just an awesome feeling. I am so happy for you, but girl - you are busy for real. Keep on rocking it, rock star!!

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OPTIMIST1948 7/18/2012 11:52AM

    Dont think of yourself as unemployed, you are in school, so that is your job. No its not a $$ job, but it is a responsibility that you have every day. And summer classes seems to be harder. Good luck with CPS meeting, yes total priorities and maybe you can talk with Chem Prof about priorities and makeups.

Financial realities intrude on all of us sometimes. Good luck.

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WORKINGSTIFF 7/18/2012 9:18AM

    Whew. I just worked up a sweat reading your blog!

Can I put this in as exercise minutes? Seriously, though, sounds like you've got a handle on all of it.

Take care and best to you at Cincy State. My place of business (local hospital) has been advertising an online nursing degree through Ohio University also.

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BE-THE-CHANGE 7/15/2012 8:11AM

    Wow, you are REALLY busy! Way to go on your classes!

I looked into Integrative Nutrition a while back and I found some negative posts on it. Hopefully that's not the case anymore but I would investigate before jumping in.

Hope everything works out for all of your kids!
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SPARKSOLUTION 7/13/2012 11:37AM

  You are SUPERWOMAN!!!

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VLKSHA 7/12/2012 2:28PM

    emoticon You really are doing it all! Way to go! Such energy!

Good luck with beating those evening snacks. I recently started having the same problem because I am staying up later these days. I try to remind myself that I should not be hungry and that maybe I am thirsty.

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MISSG180 7/12/2012 9:56AM

    Holy cow, and I thought MY life was complicated at the moment!! I'm filled with admiration.

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~INDYGIRL 7/12/2012 1:03AM

    WHOA~ I agree, just reading it is exhausting, I can't imaging living it. Hugs.

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/10/2012 7:11PM

    Glad to have the update! You definitely have a lot going on right now. As you get into the routine of the job/school you will find a way to get it all done. Good for you for being financially responsible and taking this into account when planning what you want to do/will do.

DH deserves your time too so have fun! There will be other races/dashes/fun runs to take part in if you choose not to do any of these right now. The eating/fitness are things that are easy to let go when overwhelmed with life changes. I know you can find your way.

As for the running, if you don't love it find something you enjoy doing and love. It will make it much easier to find the time to fit it into your day/week.

Have fun & good luck!

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PRIMALMICHAEL 7/10/2012 6:28PM

    Wow, that really IS busy. It sounds like you are headed for some really positive change though. Don't you love having options?

Michael

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KAYZAKCX 7/10/2012 6:09PM

    Check out the gym at Cincy State. When I went there, it wasn't pretty, but it had every thing, including personal trainers. For free, if I remember right. Cincy State is vastly underrated. BTW, might want to stay away from the little coffee shop thingy the culinary students run. The pastrys are just too damn good. Trust me. emoticon

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ZANNACHAN 7/10/2012 6:04PM

    Wow, I knew you were busy but that's a lot to have on any one person's plate! Try not to worry too much about the food and weight loss--it will come! Keeping my fingers crossed for your and your heart kids re: CPS.

*hugs from another crazy busy student, LOL!*

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MONETRUBY 7/10/2012 3:54PM

    Well, I'm exhausted just READING all of that, so I can only imagine what it feels like to be living it. I'll send plenty of good karma and vibes for dealing with CPS, which sounds like NOT a lot of fun. Big huge congrats for doing so fantastic with the schooling! And if you're really serious about the nutrition thing, I can send you a link to an program about holistic nutrition that has an online format, that a friend of mine went through. She highly recommended it, and she's someone I would trust as far as that goes.

Try not to get to overwhelmed about the eating and weight thing. I have a feeling that things in that area will straighten themselves out when your life calms down a bit...if that's possible.

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MNGIRLIE 7/10/2012 3:30PM

    You ARE a busy lady! That's a lot to have on your plate right now and maybe it was fateful that you're not working at the moment to handle everything. I hope the classes continue well and that you continue to ace them. Happy to see an update from you!

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SHRINKINRUNNER 7/10/2012 3:12PM

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LENGELKE 7/10/2012 2:36PM

    Wow, sweetpea, you are a freaking rockstar! You are doing wonderfully with all that you have on your plate. When I grow up (yea that'll happen), I'm wanting to do some of the stuff you are doing. Congrats and don't worry about the structure so much, it'll come with the new job I'm sure you'll find! Remember I'm always a phone call or text away

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