Monday, July 09, 2012
the baby is due in a week! omg! i hope she isn't late. this heat and discomfort is starting to get to me. i just want me back! i'm going to breast feed, so i won't get all of me back, but at least i won't be afraid to do something. i've been terrified to work out more than just walking.
reset my spark account today. it felt refreshing to reset stuff, delete things, join groups, leave groups, etc. i've got a new focus so a lot of the stuff i was working on prebaby won't be important after baby. i don't want to be so overwhelmed with taking care of her and me that i give up and don't focus on me. i have to remember i'm important so i can be there for my family.
i've been doing a lot of thinking. my goals are still the same. but now i want my success to be reflected on my daughter. i want her to be healthy and learn to live a healthy life through me. i won't pretend i didn't struggle to get healthy for years, but i don't want her to end up in a lifestyle that makes her unhealthy. i want her to grow up eating delicious, healthy food that she loves rather than asking for mc donald's every night. my neice was raised by a general manager of burger king the first few years of her life. all she would eat was chicken nuggets and fries. there are too many kids like that out there, i don't want mine to be one of them.
i promise to never say something along the lines of "i'm dieting" in front of my daughter. i also promise to never say "i'm fat" or anything that uses fat as an adjective regarding myself. my husband would kill me and i would never want to give her a body image. that will be tough. i've thought i was fat since like 12 years old when puberty hit. i was no where near fat, i was just self conscious. so trying to help her love her body image be easy, but i can set the best example possible.
i'm very excited for the future and can't wait to really get the ball rolling with this weight loss. i've gained about 35 lbs over this pregnancy, way more than i wanted, but i suppose it could have been a lot worse. i'm looking forward to getting back into the spark people routine and get motivated again. and hopefully motivate people along the way! i'm gonna take it slow, but hopefully that will help me stay motivated. it's gonna be tough, but i know the support from all of you will keep me going.
until i'm completely back, all of you keep sparking!