Sunday, July 08, 2012
I fell off the wagon.
Actually I fell off the wagon, then the already stampeding horses panicked, doubled back, and trampled me again before leaving me in a cloud of dust with a mouthful of grit...
...no, my bad. Those were actually cookie crumbs.
I completely abandoned my boot-camp workout (physical injury and near emotional death) and completely abandoned my diet. For a year I wallowed in my own misery, ignoring my diet and refusing to exercise. This all or nothing/denial mentality added back the pounds I lost plus a few to my already heavy body. I gave up. To those who find success and ongoing motivation in the extremely restrictive diet (and artificial protein bars & shakes) and outright physical punishment of intense boot-camp style programs, I applaud you--but it ultimately just didn't work for me.
It broke my spirit.
But now I'm back. No more quick-fixes for me. No more. I have to accept that at my age, I cannot undo in a few short months what it took years to do to my body.
So today, I am stepping back up onto the wagon, but a very different wagon. This wagon is pulled by a couple of sturdy mules instead of stallions. This wagon has a reasonably comfortable seat that will allow me to keep control of the reins and focus on my journey instead of just hanging on to the rails for dear life! This wagon will most likely travel more slowly,but is less likely to pitch me into the dirt.
I am starting slow, respecting my body and it's limitations.
I have returned to yoga after a 12 year hiatus. I have returned to vegetarianism after a decade of meat-eating that made life and dining easier for my family and friends--everyone else except me. I have returned to walking--right now only twice a week, but I plan to increase the frequency. Small goals. Achievable goals.
Long road ahead, cowboy. Time to saddle up!