Sunday, July 08, 2012
My husband has been trained to feed me treats to make me happy. He still wants to feed me treats to make me happy. I had to change my response from happy for the treat, to happy for the love- nix the treat. We had a LOT of conversations about this subject, as he fell back into old habits of treating and I fell into old habits of being happy. We are all like Pavlov's dogs. We are trained to food. Actions speak louder than words. Everyone resists change because of fear, so I needed to talk to my husband about his fears about my changes. If he were supporting me, he wouldn't be sabotaging me. What is he afraid of? Changes start gently and constantly. When I started health in my home, one would have thought I had started speaking Chinese- and in a sense, I had. I was speaking healthy, and acting healthy, and shopping healthy... no more ice cream, chips, pastry, nor crap cereals... I slowly changed the milk to low fat, lower fat, then non-fat. Once a week treat of pizza or burgers, then every other week, then once a month.... He asked me what we were to do, now that eating was no longer a couple thing. We bought bikes. We walk after dinner. We order smaller meals, and we share entrees rather than ordering our own. This was a BIG change for me, as I saw it as a loss of control rather than empowerment. I had to SHARE my meal??? So, first, I would order my own, and bring parts of it home. After a while I noticed that we could share entrees as I was still eating too much. This happened when my sister, my husband and I went out, and they each wanted to order a meal, but not eat one item. I shared with each of them and only ordered a drink. We had food left over! A new style was born. This has been a huge boost for us as a couple as we are sharing, talking, and losing weight while still eating together. By being happy with my choices and not punishing my family, I was able to keep on track and lose weight. I am ready to start the second half of my living lean. I am in a new place from where I had started. I am on a new roll. Changes, again. Bring 'em on!