Saturday, July 07, 2012
Look, I understand, okay?
I understand that you've just started a business and that you're trying to get the word out about your new gym, and your soy shakes and your 9-Week-Program or something or other.
I get it -- it's a tough time to be an entrepreneur.
However, let me give you some advice.
In the future:
DO NOT come out to the track and *run beside me*, in an attempt to sell me on your sh#t! Track time is MY time, and I do NOT have time for your effin' sales pitch in the middle of my interval, you savvy? Also:
DO NOT dismiss Sparkpeople! I'm wearing a SP shirt, for gawdsakes, so perhaps you should have considered that before giving it faint praise and segueing into the sales pitch for your crappy program -- "It's a good site, you know, considering it's free and all. But my 9-Week-Program is so much more blahblahblah...". Thirdly:
DO NOT explain the location of your gym by asking the fat girl if she knows where the IHOP is. I don't care if it *is* right next door to the IHOP, use the address, mention the name of the Executive Park where it's located, say what intersection it's near -- just say anything other than "Hey, you know where the IHOP is, am I right?" Yeah, bozo, I know. And now I hate you.
Finally, if you ignore this advice and do all of the above, like you did with me today:
DO NOT continue to wave and smile at me every lap, as if I'm your best friend, while you pull the same sh#t with every other runner on the track. I do not endorse your behavior in any way, and I resent your actions implying otherwise.
Best of luck to you in the future -- so long as you stay eff off my track!