I've been super stressed lately as anyone following my blogs could tell. It's affected my mood, my eating habits, my exercise, and my relationships. But then yesterday I heard the song that I put on my blog, and something clicked.
I don't have to do it all today. If I don't enjoy the ride, what's the point really?
I didn't want to go to practice yesterday for multiple reasons. I haven't missed in so long I couldn't tell when the last time was. Normally I would have forced myself to go. But this time I didn't. And I didn't force myself to do some other exercise either. I took the time to clean a little bit but then just hang out with my family. It was really nice. Plus I kinda missed the rink. My boy even said, "Mom, I'm glad you stayed home with me today, but I bet they miss you at roller derby. It's okay if you go, you know." I think it healed something that was weighing on me that I hadn't even put into actual thoughts (much less spoken words) yet. I don't want my little man thinking that some activity is more important than him. At five years old, he was able to feel that and tell me in his own way that he's okay with the time I spend there. Sometimes he's so grown up that it scares me!
I have accepted the job with the 10% promotion and it's still up in the air if my current job is going to match it to keep me. I keep wondering if they want me, if I've done a good enough job, how hard this new job might be, and if I'm making the right decision. That's actually what was stressing my mind when I heard "The Middle". The lines:
"Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in
Live right now, yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else"
seemed like he was talking just to me. I work in an office. The new job is an office. I've changed offices before and it worked out just fine. If my current job doesn't match it, then my fate will take me to the new office. Maybe that's where I'm supposed to be. And the same if it works out the opposite. Stressing myself out over it isn't going to change a dang thing. It's more money no matter what!! This is a good thing, Dixie!!
Then the stress over my lack of progress with the scale. I've had issues with the heat wave killing my motivation to do any outdoors workouts on my morning breaks. So today I've decided to start the squat challenge app. This will help me get low at derby (another goal) and give me an exercise I can do on my work break that I can do in an air conditioned office. So what if I don't get a mile walk in or run the stairs every day. Just do something!
It's completely cheesy and more pop than I normally listen to. But The Middle may be my new anthem.
It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright