Wednesday, July 04, 2012
Time sure is flying. Only 10 weeks left until I become a mom. It's starting to sink in now and I'm spending a lot of time worrying about what my life will be like once he's here, how Eric and I's relationship will be, and if I can really manage the responsibility of someone else' life.
Eric moved to Kansas City after graduation while I stayed here working and taking as many summer classes as I can before our little life changer gets here. We have a great relationship, can be very open and honest with each other, and are so similar on the deepest of levels, but he is struggling with how fast his life is changing. I am his first girlfriend and now we're having a child, it's made things way more serious now and has rushed our timeline. We've had to talk about deep stuff, our moral basis, parenting styles, and how we see our lives being lived. We're very compatible and he feels like I maybe the one for him but trying to sort through it all now instead of just being together because its fun and not so serious has freaked him out. I've dated many guys, and before Eric, a string of 2 months relationships because I knew what I was looking for and broke it off when they weren't it. So I am trying to be patient and understanding because this is all new stuff to him. It is difficult when I know I love him and he is my guy after the half dozen that weren't. Don't get me wrong, I have my fears too. I'm terrified to move in with him so soon as that has been against my morals since forever, but we need a stable home for our son and my income is limited to student loans so I can't my own place.
The long distance and his fears of losing his independence have been hard on us. He feels like the bad guy most of the time and I worry that he seems like he's walking on egg shells around me, because my hormones and phone calls & texting interpret things he says wrong and go into panic mode. We're working on it all, he's trying to be more empathetic and I'm trying to do the same I guess and not go into a panic.
On the flip side, I've been looking at pictures of me from before I got preggo and thinking about that post-baby body goals. Weight-wise, I am doing well. I have put on 16 pounds and it's seemed to level off for now but I should stay in my recommended range, 20-25 pounds. My doctor said I should lose within a few weeks after birth if I breast-feed. She said about 15 pounds is baby, placenta, and fluid and that if I eat healthy around 1800-2000 calories a day, I could continue to lose about a pound a week from breast-feeding upto 6 months post-baby with moderate exercise.
For post-baby, the key is focus on muscle toning and strength more than intense fat-burning cardio. She says it's all biological. We're slept deprived and exhausted from keeping a newborn alive everyday, we won't want to do draining cardio workouts, but hauling a 10-15 pound infant everywhere is building strength in our muscles all over. She said to do work outs with the baby. In a baby carrier (like chicco, infantino) for squats, lunges, and walking up stairs. Bicep curls with the car seat. Do push ups kissing your baby each time you lower down and laying tricep presses holding your baby to tone your upper body. The baby will enjoy the "play time" and you can do it anywhere and anytime, no equipment needed! All these moves need to be done slowly too and that resistance is great.
My ultimate goal is get to a size 6 by August 2013. I am not setting weight goals because weight doesn't mean anything. My body will be different now and 140 pre-baby may be a size 6 or size 10. I'm just going to make goals to work out consistently and stay away from quick-fix meals, snacks, and junk. As I slowly adjust to my life with a baby, all I can do is take each day one at a time.