Tuesday, July 03, 2012
This summer, my daughter and I have been participating in 5K and 10K events. She is a "real" runner, finishing 5Ks in the 22's. Me - I plod along trying to get better (and faster) with each event. I'm down to 44:16 for a 5K!
So after Saturday's 10K, on a day that ended up over 105 degrees, I was very sweaty and cranky about the heat. I had worn my usual running Capri pants and a tank top over my sports bra) while my skinny girl wore running shorts and a lightweight tank. She asked why I wouldn't wear shorts to race in.
I tried to explain how I felt. I actually thought I was making progress to wear a tank top! Shorts are completely different! Even after my 34 lb. weight loss, I felt I was too fat to wear racing shorts in public. I mean, that would show my fat knees and flabby thighs! What a ghastly sight! No, not me!
Tonight as I went through my Chalean Extreme workout, I purposefully stood in front of the mirror and took a good long look at myself - in shorts... Yes, there are some lumps and bumps that need to go. I have 53 more lbs. to reach my goal weight... But, my Nike running shorts (XL) are loose around my thighs. Yes, my knees are not gorgeous, but they function better than they have in several years.
I have decided that as my body changes, I need to pay attention to what's happening and quit seeing myself as the 217 lb. unfit me. I've got a long way to go to reach my goal and I may never look as good as my daughter in running gear, but I'm becoming more accepting of where I am right now and that's alright.
Come Wednesday morning, July 4th, I intend to wear my running shorts in the Bluegrass 10,000. If you don't like it, don't look - at least I'm keeping my shirt on!