A few blogs ago, I'd mentioned my panic when faced with the idea of an impromptu beach vacation with my husband's family, and how it would affect my workout schedule.
What I was actually panicking about, though, was how *I* would respond to a disruption of my workout schedule...
I plotted and planned everything out. We were supposed to be gone Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. My normal workout schedule is Monday, Wednesday and Saturday, so, if our travel schedule allowed, I figured I could wake up at the crack of dawn on Monday, get that run in, and then do my Wednesday run on Thursday, once we'd returned to town. Saturday's run, of course, would not be affected.
Well, that was the plan, anyway.
Monday was supposed to be the start of Week 7 in my C25K plan -- walk 2-minutes, run 4-minutes, do it 10 times. I'd been kind of worried about transitioning to my "4's" because it meant I'd be running more than a full lap around the quarter-mile track with each running interval and that scared me.
So, Monday morning I woke up, got to the track well in time and started slogging my way through the intervals. At the end of the sixth interval, my knee started acting funny. Not painful, but there was a definite weirdness and not-right-ness going on with it. Worry set in. I've read all the cautionary blogs about screwing up your knees, and considering how much pressure my weight puts on my knees every day, I've always tried to be aware of how they are reacting to the running.
So, I just stopped, at 35 minutes in. I figured better to abort the workout than screw up my knee and not be able to workout later. What was supposed to be a good 60 minute workout had been nearly halved.
So, we go to the beach. Have a lovely time, spend too much money, and on our last day there, the sister-in-law asks us to stay an extra day. I call my boss, he greenlights it, awesome!
But, of course, that means we won't be home until midnight-ish on Thursday. I was supposed to do Wednesday's workout on Thursday, but if I'm not home until midnight on Thursday, when am I doing my Wednesday? I can't do it on Friday because I need a day between runs, especially if my knee starts acting wonky again.
So, ladies and gentlemen, I said what all great people have said whilst on vacation: Eff It!
I figured I'd just skip the Wednesday altogether and not do anything until we were back from the beach, when I could do my regularly-scheduled Saturday run and get back on track.
Thursday came and went and we were home before we knew it. I worked on Friday.
Saturday came, and with it, 104-degree weather in Atlanta.
I decided that it would be best, you know, for my health, if I skipped my run.
After all, I might get overheated.
I might pass out.
People do that, you know, when they workout in hot weather.
Yeah, it was a lot of bullsh#t. I totally could've run on Saturday, but I didn't. I rationalized my way into complete inactivity and I LET myself believe it was okay to do so.
It really wasn't okay.
Yes, I was worried about the heat, sure.
But I was more worried about my 4's.
And my knee.
But it was mostly about the 4's.
I didn't want to go because I was afraid of the 4's.
Stupid slippery slope. This whole go at weight loss this time, I've been obsessed with being kind to myself -- not working out TOO much, giving myself a more generous calorie range, reminding myself that "Le mieux est l'ennemi du bien."
But this week taught me that there is a place for "Le mieux". And it's not about performing perfectly all the time. It's about showing up. That's where you have to be perfect.
You can go on vacation, you can eat more than you normally do, skip tracking your food, abandon Spark for the week, whatever -- but no matter what falls out of place, you've got to show up for your workout like nothing else is wrong, like it's your job. Even if you don't do the whole workout, even if you die on the first lap, SHOW UP FOR YOUR WORKOUT. Perfect attendance IS required. There's no way to rationalize that missing 2 STRAIGHT DAYS of workouts is okay.
Bottom line, my heart wasn't in it this week, and I let my fear and my innate laziness take over where my commitment should have cut in.
It's not going to happen again.
I've been down that slippery slope one too many times, and man, it's too hard to get back up again.
So, this morning, I put my foot down. I went to the track at 5:45, in spite of the heat (which actually wasn't that bad) and did my 4's. Not all of them, but more than half of them. I showed up, and I feel like I'm finally back!
And Wednesday? Oh, you better believe I'll be there again, come hell or high water...