Monday, July 02, 2012
I know they love me and want me to be happy and I feel like trapped by them somehow. We put our loved ones in a defined "box". Look around the dinner table and think about the roles that each family member has in the family dynamic. Funny one, peacemaker, planner, etc. It is wonderful to have a place in this dynamic and to truly belong. And that role can be suffocating. My time in this family (11 years) has placed me in many roles--baker, comforter, organizer, nurturer and, the topic of this blog, dieter. I discovered this week that the family sees me as someone on a perpetual diet and not all of those diets are helpful or healthy. In fact, in the eyes of my family none of those diets have been positive.
I discovered this when I talked with them, finally, about Sparkpeople and the program I have decided to follow here. I got eye rolls and heavy sighs. They shared with me how they feel about this part of my life journey. Wow! I own that. I have been on this journey for years and I have not been committed enough to make progress. Until now. I asked them to give me on emore chance and walk with me on this Sparkpeople journey, for real. What I know about my family is we all embrace those who are truly making an effort in life. And they are embracing me. One day at a time. And now we're doing it together because I had the courage to share, commit and ask for support.
I love my family and I am working on loving me too. Quite a journey.