Sunday, July 01, 2012
I really hate to say this out loud, or blog it, for all to see, or even just for me to have to look at, but I always, without fail, sabotage myself. I am a binge eater. I do good, and do good, and do good, and then I binge eat and undo all the benefit that I had gained. Every time. Then I try to make up for it by skipping meals, or going too low on my calories. And of course, that backfires as well.
I just cannot seem to stay on a balanced level of caloric intake.
This has been my struggle my whole life. As a young person, I used to drink like that. Very dangerous. Then I'd swear the next day "ohhh, I am never drinking again" only to do it again, and again and again. (so thankful that God helped me pull out of that lifestyle) but here I am doing it with food now.
I really don't understand.
This morning I had a healthy b-fast before church, a bagel and 2 T of light cream cheese, and a greek yogurt. But when we got home from church, I had 3 leftover b-fast sausages as I made the kids lunch, then 2 bagels with cream cheese and a banana, so now I am down to 10-350 calories for the day.
My challenge team is staying on track for our food and calorie intake, so the only thing I can do is try to stay in my range.