Alright Y'all. I have a little bit of a dilemma. (well, it is for me anyway).
My wonderful husband has decided to join me in the exercising world. Not that he is in need of it other then to stay healthy and (his words) get toned. I'm really happy to have him along for the ride but then again, not really. I know that sounds bad but it's my reality (at least in my head anyway). I'll start at the beginning and catch ya'll up real quick.
We met in high school, I was just entering the 10th grade and he was a newly appointed senior. Like any redblooded teenager, I was instantly awed by the guy with the tight jeans (really, you couldn't have pinched an inch even if you tried) and cowboy boots.
I was armed with my newfound confidence of having gone from a size 14 in the 8th grade to a size 5 for my sophmore year. I have always struggled with my weight my whole life and here I was getting attention from the ever so scrumptious wild one.
We have been stuck like glue ever since. That doesn't mean everything has been sunshine and roses but we work together through everything. Fast forward 12 years and now, I've had 2 babies of my own and have been raising my nephew for 11 of those years (with hubby's help). I've had to watch my mom, grandma, grandpa and aunt all go home to heaven within a year of each other. Needless to say, I have put on some pounds.
Some people would say that it's not a significant enough of a weight gain to even be complaining about but 60 pounds to me is. Especially since heart disease, diabetes and kidney disease run in my family.
Back to the main topic.
This is my husband...
He says since we've been together he's went from a size 28 waist to a 32-33 that he needs to do something about it. I said, whooptidoo. The man doesn't even have one single love handle. I, on the other hand went from a size 14 to a 5 back up to a 14. That has definitely messed with my confidence and all around emotions.
Dear Husband always tells me everyday that I'm beautiful even if I don't think it and that he loves me no matter what. All of which I thank him for everyday and reply I love you too babe but I'm not what I once used to be. He says, "Well, If you're not happy with the way you look, then quit complaining and do something about it, I'll always support you in anything you want to do 100%" I know, I know, he's right. And I am working on it. Learning new things everyday.
Even though he says he understands how I feel when I say that all the stuff I tend to say when I'm in self pity mode before I pull myself out of it (Mama always said, "no matter the situaton that you're in, there is always someone out there that has it worse") like losing loved ones, everyday stress from being a stay at home mom and not feeling adequate enough for the job, bouncing up and down with my weight takes a toll on a person's body and mind, I'm thinking, you've never been overweight in your life, , you get to go to work everyday (I love my kids very very much, but I don't have anything for just me) How can he possibly understand. Then I remember, he's been there with me through all of it so he's kind of seen it through my perspective. I'm sure I ranted a few (ok, more than a few) times.
Add to that, I feel like if he gets all toned up and even sexier looking, I'll be happy for him because that's what he wants, but then I feel like I'm being left behind because I have to work twice as hard as him ( I do have baby bulges to lose before I can even think about toning anything). Well, maybe I can tone my fingers from typing so much. (Does that count?)
Wrapping all of this up, I think it boils down to the fact that if he feels like he's a little pudgy, I think somewhere in my crazy brain, that makes me feel happy because then, I'm not the only pudgy one in our family anymore (even though I know he's not but it's the thought that he thinks he is). I know in some sick way, that's messed up for me to think this way. Don't worry, I'm working on changing that perspective so that I can be more positive for him.
So, am I happy to have my husband join me in the exercise world or am I not?
I'm going to go with both actually, because I know he feels like he's helping me out in a way so that I'm not going it alone, and he gets to tone himself up in the bargain.
Ok... I'm done now and I actually feel a little bit better getting all this out. Who'd of thunk it? Not me.
Hope y'all have a great Sunday and an even better week and Happy early 4th of July America!