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    CCISSEE   16,736
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broken heart the hard way


Saturday, June 30, 2012

So I've had some bad news recently. Compared to people facing deaths of loved ones or debilitating diseases, my news was not so bad. But it broke my heart just the same. My job for next year has changed, not by my choice. While it might end up being a step up financially, it is definitely a step down in every other way possible. It broke my heart into itty bitty pieces.
On Thursday, I got the call to come to the meeting. Being a natural-born worrywart, I couldn't eat the rest of the day. I received the bad news on Friday morning, and I was so upset I didn't eat all day. Today, I had already planned to have breakfast with a cousin before going out of town, so I didn't even try to stay within calories.
On the days I didn't eat, I didn't work out. How lame is it to pause (quit) a 28-day bootcamp on day 26? Super lame.
So... I'm not being an emotional eater. If anything, my stomach is so twisted up that I can't eat. But I also have zero desire to work out or do anything else productive. Up side, I got some retail therapy today. Bought a bunch of new outfits for a couple of trips I have coming up, with no laundry time between. The pants I bought are 2 sizes down from the last pants I bought.
The hurt, anger, and tears have mostly subsided. It's still very fresh and I'm prone to having negative thoughts if I'm not diligent. My sister, a therapist at a psychiatric facility, has made me lock my negative thoughts in a lock box and give her the key. She hid it, and I'm not allowed to know where. Yes, this lock box and key are imaginary. But they've helped me remember -- I'm not supposed to be focusing on that negative thought. It's locked away.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
HANAHSCLOUDY 7/4/2012 6:42PM

    Aw, when things are going well and the evils of life interfere?

Changes seem to be the only thing permanent they say, in life.

I think we have to allow ourselves time to process change. I like to think of it almost as a mourning process...........

Self talk helps me with life changes, especially the ones OUT of OUR control. Think what you would say to a close friend going through this?

Last week I just went through a mini change that knocked me down. I was told not to play tennis or use walking as exercise. (Bad Knee - arthritis) I pouted for a bit, then, thinking I was gonna throw in the towel, self pity and anger was pulling at me.

Then I started a letter to myself as I would a close friend..........and it turned it around.

I understand the initial internal shock, we go through. But once we accept the news. We then can chose what to do? Start looking for another job, While keeping the one you have? Update the resume? Is there anything that peaks your interest about the promotion? You now can start to process things?

FYI - I would tell my friend, "So, you had a bad day." "Now Sweetheart, Don't compound the stress in your life by making poor choices of what you eat and the activities you do. It will only make you feel bad later."

Take what you like and leave the rest.

You have still done well Sunshine.......26 days and 2 pant sizes smaller? Wahoo Girl!

Be gentle to yourself.

Have a great night.

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TXGRANDMA 6/30/2012 9:22PM

    That is tough, but in time you will adjust. What a good sister you have to help you out that way!

emoticon on the 2 sizes smaller pants! emoticon !!!!!

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13610511 6/30/2012 7:34PM

    Yes, best to focus on the positives.

In my career I have been tasked to do many jobs that were not what I would have picked (and many that I did pick). I learned a lot, expanded my experience, and was always given more responsibilities due to my attitude to take on and do what needed to be done. It helped me to a senior level executive positions and many supporters in my large multinational company.

I alwayed learned more on the tough jobs and projects.

In my dept when something tough comes along that needs to be done, we just say: well someone has to do it, it might as well be us and figure out a way to do it.

I hope you have the support you need in your new role and that it goes well for you.



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