Friday, June 29, 2012
I don't like deadlines anymore than most people, but I feel like I have to give myself one because nothing else is working. Maybe if I set a target I could actually achieve it.
I'm feeling very down about my weight loss right now. The scale really has not moved at all in six months. I've developed some poor eating habits because I don't stick up for myself the way I used to. Today when I went grocery shopping with my boys I said no to every unhealthy item they requested, but when I decided we should buy potato chips, no one stopped me. Why would they? Why did I even decide we needed them? I don't have an answer for this, I just wanted them. After we emptied the bag I felt guilty. I wasn't being the role model I want to be for them and I felt ugly for polluting my body with processed junk food.
I have my own business as a personal vegan chef and honestly, if I ate the way I cook for my clients, I'd be pretty healthy by now. I'll go off on these "tangents" when I drink green juice for breakfast, eat a huge salad for lunch and dine on brown rice, tofu and vegetables for supper. I'll walk the dog and lift weights and everything will be good. The weight starts to come off and I feel fabulous. Then just as suddenly, I'm porking out on potato chips, having second helpings, not exercising and regaining the few pounds I lost. *sigh*
I've started running.... not the Couch to 5K but a program with a local running group. I run three times a week for 20-25 minutes, keeping a pace I can maintain for the whole duration. I really love it. I'd like to find a running partner so I have to go out between sessions with the running coach. I'd also like to find a gym partner. In a perfect world this would be my life partner, but she's not into health and wellness like I am. She does ride her bike beside me while I jog and she has come to yoga with me, but if the exercise requires breaking a sweat, she doesn't join in. I have to do this on my own. I have a litany of excuses that keeps me from working out...it's too hot, I'm too tired, I have too many other things to do, etc.
Usually when I write these blog posts I edit, rearrange, spell check, perfect the prose... Tonight I'm just letting my words flow. It's a pity party, I know, but please stick with me. I have a plan.
After many years on SP, I've decided to follow the program. Really? Yes, it's true... I will calorie count... I will log my food, I will log my exercise. I will set goals. It occurred to me this week that I probably ingest 300 calories per day just tasting/snacking while prepping food. A very bad habit. I also eat far too many plant fats. I'm in the middle of re-reading Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman and I'm learning so much. I want to start eating a low fat plant based diet.... how will I ever eat a salad without olive oil again, or avocados or walnuts or pumpkin seeds? These are staples of my diet and have been for the past year or more. I think I need to re-read the Engine 2 diet and cook book too. I have fallen off the wagon in more ways than one... I've made excuses that have made it okay to eat avocados and olive oil every day. No wonder I'm not losing any weight. 70% of weight loss is the food you eat, 30% is the exercise you do.
My goal is to journal my food, stay under 1800 calories per day, optimally 1500 calories, follow a plan combining Eat to LIve with Engine 2. Exercise as much as I can without burning out, but getting in my running and getting in my Chalean Extreme weight training program. I'm getting married next year and I want to look phenomenal... but until then I want to look and feel terrific too.
Oops, found a spelling error...so shoot me.