Reading the blog of spark friend guitarwoman I found this site:
..and decided to do all the tests - that´s why there was no blog yesterday those tests took some time.
It was interesting because I found that I am really on the right track in my life - I have trained myself to becoming very positive in my manners towards others, to listen and accept, to be more tolerant than I used to be, to appreciate problems because they invite solutions to seek activeness instead of reactiveness... I also have two very dark areas where I get stuck:
1. The daughter - that is really an emotional swamp I don´t want to crawl around in, I have done my best and I have to accept that it is not going my way and my mantra "Everything is as it is supposed to be" will have to be applied every day. This too shall pass...but ooohhh it is a bitter beverage to swallow, I can´t accept it and will have to put the whole thing aside and focus on other things.
2. The compulsive eating.I think there is not many stones I have not turned in search for a solution that works for me. If I were diabetic I would accept the medication and do the things required...or maybe not. The medication I would accept but there is a lot of stuff you can do, for example eating better and exercising and I do not know if I would do that.
I am still helped by that guy who told me how annoyed he used to be of his colleague who had the same thing in his lunch box every day. He could not reason himself out of that irritaion or decide not to feel what he was feeling - but the irritation disappeard without any effort when he started to feel better about himself - and THAT required some work.
If I look at all my "positive psychology" test results I have lots of area that really works for me where I am doing the right things without effort because I changed. How did i change? I do think it was because of trial and error - and daring to put myself out there. I am gifted with a "natural" curiosity that makes me want to try new things and find new contexts ... and confidance enough or maybe energy enough to dare to try it. And almost all things I have dared to do has resulted in success, then it is a lot easier to continue trying other things.
And progress: I had lunch with this woman/friend and we discussed flylady - she had never heard of the flylady principles and got very interested and asked to borrow my book "Sink reflections" I agreed and went home to look for the book. WHen I found it I started reading a little - got it in 2008 and have not read it for the last years. ANd of course I was very inspired and thought it really convineient to work with it during my vacatiohn... but I had agreed to let this friend borrow it... before I would have let her have it. Now I wrote her that I had gotten this idea, that she can borrow it but not until august and if she deperately need it before she will have to buy a copy of her own... I feel a little guilty but also know that if it had been the opposite - it had been her book and she wanted to have it a while before I could borrow it, I would find it natural and bought my own copy if needed - she has a very good job and earn the double I do.
I am going to work on the good things - today I got the parasol I ordered...
I have this idea of an act where I speak of the dream to become a rope walker and I will have a little drink umbrella in orange that will not work to balance with and I will put it in m "magic" cupboard (that a friend built for me) and it will become a big one...
I have also ordered a book about tarot reading because I think i will develop the skills of "Madame Cecilia" who has so far interpreted dreams - but I think I will be a fortune-teller as well..NOT seriously but as an act when we work with youth - I think I might have a lot of good conversations there if I use it as coaching for teenage girls...
A lot of fun coming up! For the moment I have a very hard time to motivate myself for practising with my hoop, hopefully it will be better as I start my vacation and my daughter comes...but I do need a class!