Thursday, June 28, 2012
I have started the diet cycle again. I am doing the curves plan which is 1 wk at 1200 calories, 90 days at 1500 calories and then 2000 calories until your metabolism resets.
Last time I lost 14 lbs and won a friendly competition. This time my goal is another 16 lbs. I want to see 170 by fall.
It is so much work to lose so very little weight. When I hear numbers like 170, I sigh with a wistful desire followed quickly by a huff of disgust. 170 is a lot! Yet for me, it is a weight I have not seen since 1999.
I try not to get discouraged when my petite 4'8" friend talks about wanting to get to 135 and my skinnier friend whines about being 160. Envy is my biggest deadly sin. I envy my friends their happy relationships and their much slimmer bodies.
I know that until I can find my own happiness, there will not be any way for me to be fulfilled in a relationship. I know weight loss is an important part of that happiness but not all of it.
But right now I mainly feel hungry! Only 4 more days at 1200 calories. 1500 is so blissfully easy after this torturous week.