Thursday, June 28, 2012
I like the idea of being in charge of one's own meals. I just don't like the prep or the clean up. I don't even mind the actual cooking. Part of the prep anxiety is wondering if everything will be ready "just in time". That lack of control that happens as you are trying to make everything click together. When you get it "just so", then you stop worrying, and you accept the process for what it is: a flow that has its own sense of time.
The clean-up is also anxiety producing for me. I am perpetually thinking: "This is not the best use of my time; there are other things more important that need doing; why am I stuck here doing dishes, putting things away -- if I had eaten out, I wouldn't be in this position right now, wondering if I will get to ...... / have enough time to ______ ". How creative and rapid - fire I can be in elaborating so many ways to not respect all sides of the food preparation and home cooking package!
Yes, this is about respect; respect for my body, but more importantly, respect for each individual's capacity to learn to, and to continue to maintain one's day-to-day functioning. You can't easily get around it - so keep planning, weighing and measuring, preparing, presenting, cleaning up, and repeating the process. The respect that you have for your body comes full circle in the quality of your living and the living legacy you demonstrate to the ones you hold dear.